Not the Year in Review

Ok, i've been a little busy and have been neglecting my fans; all eight of you. But here is a little content, and i promise i'll do a year in review at some point. This is a top ten list. Everyone likes those.

The 10 most awesome people

10. Isaac Newton

Isaac was probably the second smartest person to ever live, coming in second to the creator of calculus, Gottfried Leibniz. But Gottfried didn't use alchemy to save the English treasury. If you've got the time to spare read the Baroque Cycle by number 9 on the list. Anyone who uses knitting needles to pry back his eye lids so he can sketch his own eye is awesome.

9. Neal Stephenson

The first thirty pages of Snow Crash are the most exciting thing i have ever read and the only thing happening is a pizza being delivered. The Diamond Age is my favorite novel. Neal is the man. If you like nonfiction try reading In the Beginning There Was The Command Line, and don't worry about Microsoft or Google. Five straight 900+ page awsome books make for one awesome author.

8. Jon Finkel

Richard Garfield created Magic the Gathering. Peter Adikson is responsible for bring the game to life. Skaff Elias and Mark Rosewater created the Pro Tour. But Finkel is the Man. Spend a few bucks, buy Jonny Magic and the Card Shark Kids : how a gang of geeks beat the odds and stormed Las Vegas, read it, and see for yourself: Jon Finkel is awesome.

7. Bob Kane

Whether you prefer Neal Adams, Frank Miller, or Grant Morrison as your writer, the fact remains that Bob Kane created Batman. Batman is the greatest fictional character ever created. Bob Kane is awesome, but not as awesome as Batman.

6. Sting

He can sing. Anyone who doesn't like the Police please leave and never come back. He can act.
The man was Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, the best thing in David Lynch's Dune. He can sell Jaguars. He can have sex for eight hours straight. Sting is pretty awesome.

5. Alexander Hamilton

America is the most awesome nation ever. Nearly every Founding Father is awesome. (Except Thomas Jefferson, he is a tool.) Nearly any Founder could have made this list, especially Ben Frankin. But Alexander Hamilton wrote the most and the best of the Federalist Papers. He more than anyone else is responsible for getting the American People to accept the Constitution. And the man knew the place of the commoners, Alexander Hamilton is awesome.

4. Neil Patrick Harris

NPH personifies awesome. Whether he is womanizing in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle or in How I met Your Mother, no one does it better or funnier; and he doesn't even like women. NPH is a one man argument for tolerance. Anyone who voted for Prop 8 must not have seen Dr. Horrible. Anyone who has seen the Scuba Diver or the Music Meister knows that NPH is awesome.

3. David Gemmell

Every little boy needs to learn to become a man. I can think of no better way than to have your son read the books of David Gemmell. There is no one who has ever written better heroic fantasy literature. Gemmells novels are primers in virtue theory. The man created Jaim Grymauch, Skillgannon the Damned, Waylander, and Druss the Legend. David Gemmell is awesome.

2. William Shatner

I have written at length about the sheer awesomeness of William Shatner. Shatner has made one of my favorite albums of all time. James T. Kirk, Denny Crane, Don S. Carter, Shatner knows how to portray awesome, probably because he is awesome.

And now on to number one...







You probably expect Batman to be here if you know anything about me. But you have to be real to make the list, otherwise your expectations would be met. So without further adieu...




1. Ronald Wilson Reagan

Ok this one was close, as i said you have to be a person to make the list so Reagan was close. The man is unreal, i suspect later generations will realize that he was some kind of demigod and one of my descendants will need to revise the list. Ronald Wilson Reagan was and remains awesome. He gave us back our faith that America is special, a shining city on the hill. Without Reagan's conservatism, leadership, courage, and steadfast faith in both God and Country we might all be no better than Europeans. Even worse we might all be bowing to foreign leaders like our soon to be ex-President obama. Ronald Wilson Reagan is my hero. He is the man we ought to look to when uncertainty looms. He saved the world from communism. He saved America from Liberalism. Ronald Wilson Reagan is simply the most awesome man to ever live.


Later

Bob

Post Script

Erin did not make the list. As i said you had to be a person and it is my suspicion that Erin is an avatar of the virtue of Grace. How else could she put up with me and my ramblings?







Post Post Script

I am not on the list. I thought it would be presumptuous and arrogant to place myself on the list along side these luminary figures of history. But if i were to be total honest and listen to my minions i'd probably come in somewhere around ninth place.

Long time, no post

Ok it's been i while since wrote anything. I have been very busy and haven't had the time to write when i had the energy, nor the energy when i had the time. This isn't going to be my best work. It will not be clever. It will not be particularly well written. It's not going to be an interesting experiment, i can't type fast enough to do stream of consciousness. I'll just be writing a lot of the things i've been meaning to write and have not.

First up: Work

Business is good. Better than good, actually it is great. I have rediscovered that i really like doing my job. I enjoy going to work for the first time in years. How could i have known thirteen months ago that Brad being a greedy bastard would be the best thing that could happen to me. I am a better lawyer than i was a year ago. I don't have to fall on my sword to protect anyone anymore. I get to do things the way i think best. Turns out i am good at this stuff.

Second: MtG

Zendikar is great. No precious treasure treasure for me, but i don't have any complaints. This is a fun, well designed set. Drafting is fun and there has been plenty of drafting going on at Top Shelf. Standard sucks, but that happens, we'll see if it still sucks when the next set roles around.

I don't play as often as i have in the past. Work keeps me busier than in the past. And because i like what i am doing at the office i have less need for distraction. The amount of time i play will likely decline more, but that's not so bad. I'll not quit, quitting is for losers.

Third: Xbox

No not the 360, we'll get to that. I've been playing Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones. In fact, i finished off The Vizier on Thursday and it was pretty satisfying. I need a new Xbox controller. Anyone know where you can still get the big one?

Fourth: TV

The 2009 season is weak. Community is ok. Erin likes it, ok not really; but she does like watching it with me and that is nice. I don't think there is another show new to this season that i have any desire to watch. Modern Family was disappointing. Ed O'Neill is still good, but the writing on the show is weak and the characters are just caricatures. HIMYM is still excellent as is Big Bang Theory. House is a little uneven and the Chase subplot is weak but over-all the show is still one of the best on TV. Burn Notice and Psyche are great and i look forward to new episodes returning. Monk is good, i'll miss it when it is gone. Dollhouse has been canceled. Another Joss Whedon show dies a premature death. Booth loves Bones, good. I want to see them together; i am a total shipper.

Fifth: Scrubs

Scrubs is coming back. I do not approve. I do not want to see Scrubs: the Next Generation. JD and Elliot are back for the first six episodes, so i'll be there. I plan to keep an open mind and if Mr. Lawrence can work his magic once more, i'll stick around.

Sixth: Xbox 360

I sure hope Modern Warfare 2 is everything it is touted to be, because now i don't get Dead Rising 2 or Bioshock 2 until next year. I hope you are all happy. Screw that, i hope Modern Warfare 2 sucks and you all wasted one hundred and fifty bucks on the super deluxe version and then broke your night vision goggles.

Seventh: Amazon sucks

Amazon doesn't really suck, but in the last month i've had three orders canceled. This is unprecedented. Mr Bezos, you let me down; i am not mad, just disappointed.

Eighth: Spectromancer

Totally worth the twenty bucks. Download it yourself and play the ten free games you get. If you don't have twenty bucks then sell some plasma and buy this game.

There that ought to be enough for now. Now you are all caught up.

Later

Bob

7 Seconds? Hah! (No, that's just how I laugh.)

Last night i watched Glee. Cody said Glee was worth checking out, last night i gave it a shot . I might watch it again, but not if they continue to play football. I don't have a problem with the stupid plots and subplots, television is full of them and Erin would say that most of the things i watch center around equally improbable events. Though i think BtVS is more realistic than Glee, at least Joss took the time to get the human elements of his show right.

The real problem i had with Glee was the football. Walter Payton did dance. He was good. Dancing does help athletes. It trains them to be more cognizant of their bodies and movement. The idea that learning to dance would help the team play better was a good one. The execution was terrible.

Teams don't dance on the field. Not just because it looks insipid. Not just because that is what the cheerleaders are for. Teams don't dance on the field because they don't have time. The dumb little dance number took one minute and nineteen seconds of realtime, not counting the huddle. That will result in a delay of game penalty. But even more ridiculous than that was that the offensive line which had more holes in it than Obama's plan for fixing the economy was able to give the kicker seven seconds of protection to do his little dance before kicking the ball. Seven seconds is an eternity for a beleaguered and porous offensive line.

So i might give Glee another chance. But if they do any more football, i am switching over to something more realistic like Comedy Central to watch Futurama.

Later

Bob

Advice for a friend

I can't say it better than Nada Surf already did. So without further adieu:

Three important rules for breaking up. Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse.

Tell [her] honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Don't make a big production. Don't make up an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene.

If you wanna date other people say so. Be prepared for the [girl] to feel hurt and rejected. Even if you've gone together for only a short time, and haven't been too serious, there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says [he] prefers the company of others to your exclusive company.

But if you're honest, and direct, and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news, the [girl] will respect you for your frankness. And honestly [s]he'll appreciate the kind of straight forward manner in which you told [her] your decision Unless [s]he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends.

Hope this helps.

Later

Bob

PS This might help, too.

Nada Surf - Popular
Uploaded by strange-ghost. - See the latest featured music videos.

Birthday Wrap up

So it has been a week since i turned thirty-nine. Fifty-one weeks before i turn forty. I've been a little busy so i haven't been able to sit down and write like i ought to have done. Promises were not broken, but they were delayed. Now is time to keep them.

My birthday present to me

My Captain Hammer shirt arrived on time, but i did not go to FNM. Instead i wore it the following Friday. The shirt powered me to a 3-1 finish. I let it down. No excuses. I had played once in the 6 weeks preceding FNM and the rust showed. Nor do i think the rust will be cleared anytime soon. Real life keeps on intruding. But the Captain Hammer shirt is awesome and will be in heavy rotation.

My birthday present from Erin

Next up, my birthday present from Erin. In addition to making me tasty spice cake cupcakes, Erin got me the perfect gift. The perfect gift is something the recipient wants, but would never get for himself. In this instance the perfect gift was the LED showerhead. I've written on the glory of this item previously. But let me tell you, it is better in real life. The color of ideal temperature water is blue, once again demonstrating that blue is inherently superior.

Philistine no more

For many years i have proudly borne the honorific: philistine. Most would consider philistine to be a slur or at least a slight, but i disagree. Philistines oppose bohemians. Philistines oppose the avant-garde. These are admirable traits.

Generally speaking philistines are considered to have no regard for art. This is no longer the case for me. I now own my first piece of original art.

I completed the purchase of D. Alexander Gregory's Cursed Scroll. The original painting is now hanging in my living room. It is glorious.

I can no longer proudly call myself a philistine. I am now a patron of the arts, a man of culture if you will.

For those of you unfamiliar with Gregory's work:



Why Cursed Scroll?

Those of you who do not play Magic the Gathering will not understand why owning this particular painting is so desirable. For two years the card bearing this image dominated the game. It is one of the best cards from the golden age of the game.

Shortly after making partner at my old firm i found that the original art was available. I set this as the symbol of accomplishment. At first i was going to make the purchase with the proceeds of one of the big wins Brad kept promising. These big wins, like most of his promises, never materialized.

Then i determined that i'd make the purchase after completing my indenture. (Another story for another time). But in October of last year Mr. Thomas determined that our partnership was at an end and my services were not required in his new organization. Once again my acquisition would be deferred.

In January i started my own office. August was a good month, more importantly it was when i met my own arbitrarily determined goal. I finally decided the time was ripe to make the acquisition. One call to Roanoke, Virgina later and the Cursed Scroll was in the trusted hands of those great men in brown who work for UPS, winging its way to me.
So now the Cursed Scroll is mine. It is a symbol of my success in standing on my own. My new firm is doing well and doing good. With no small amount of shadenfreude i might observe that the old office seems to be a sinking ship. Thanks to all of you who helped me get here.

Later

Bob

It's mine. It's finally all mine.

I got the title to my T-bird today. Good day. Happy day. This is the first time i have been able to complete an installment payment plan for an automobile. Seems like as good a time as any to tell you how i came to make this purchase.

Back in 2004 i was made partner. I was flush with cash for the first time in my life and needed something to spend it on. I decided it was time to get the Jaguar that i'd been wanting. Of course, no one else thought this was a good idea.

Howie said don't do it. It was a waste of money. Now usually i listened to Howie and i must say i can never think of an instance in which his advice was unsound or incorrect. But i had my mind set on this. I'd wanted a Jaguar since i was 16. I still want one, and i will buy one. But i haven't yet.

Todd Sanderson made a good point. Todd said, "Bob, it's like someone found a way to gold plate a turd. It is beautiful to look at, but it's still a turd." But i had my mind set on this. I can be stubborn.

Finally Craig Sanderson intervened. Craig told me that he wouldn't sell me a Jaguar. Every Jaguar he sold had some kind of problem. Todd had told me this as well, but did i mention that i had my mind on this? Craig told me to take a look at this car he had on his lot. So i agreed that i'd come over that night and take a look at it.

So i went over to Sanderson Auto Sales. Craig said this was the last T-Bird he had on the lot. He'd sold about twenty of these cars over the summer. The 2002-2005 T-Bird is an excellent car with great retro styling, but Ford screwed up the price point. At $45,000 new they sold poorly. Too expensive to be affordable, not expensive enough to convey an exclusivity cachet. Not fast enough to be a sports car. But i have never had i car that is better just to drive, it is a great touring car.

I'd been missing owning a convertible. I had owned a LeBaron convertible and owning a convertible is something i recommend to anyone who possesses the requisite means. So when Craig showed my this convertible i was interested. A short test drive later and i was sold.

The car has all the standard amenities. CD player, Dual Climate Control, Power Steering, Anti-Lock Brakes, Power Top, Traction Control. No GPS though. It also had another feature not mentioned in the owner's manual. Now i don't have any interest in this feature of my car and have no use for it anymore, but it bears mentioning that this car can really do some heavy lifting when it comes to picking up women, especially the kind of women a young single man finds himself interested in. Even more so when you take into account my taste deficiencies.

So now it is mine. All mine. At least until Obama decides i don't need two cars and decides to tax one out of existence.

I hope you enjoyed the tale of my little red car.

Later

Bob

PS

I have rectified the primary missing feature. I now have a GPS. No longer will anyone i lend the car to spend an hour and a half looking for Erin when she is ten minutes away.

Sick Day 3 in 3-D

Once again i am home ill. So i figured i'd write the third installment of the sick day series. My longtime readers are familiar with this, but for you newbies, i'll break it down: i chronicle the events of my sick day. Yeah it's not too complicated, but then again what do you expect from a guy under the influence of two doses of nyquil?

This sick day is a carry over from yesterday. An early indication that i was in for a bad day was the pain in my right ear descending down the eustachian tube to my throat. (And no, Mom, i didn't go to an E.N.T. guy, maybe this winter when my reoccurring problem reoccurs i'll do something.) So fast forward to the title of this post and i wake up sick this morning.

Fortunately my calendar was light. A quick call into the office canceled everything. Two nyquil later and i am asleep on the couch til 1:00 when Erin woke me up to make sure everything was ok. Living with a nurse has its advantages.

Realizing that i was out of grape juice i had to make a decision, venture forth and obtain more or go back to sleep. Juice lust won so out i went complete with bed head and a KoDT T-shirt. Erin would be mortified to see me out and about dressed like some kind of homeless person, hopped up on Nyquil,


...




...




...




...




(sorry, i dosed off there)

and driving my Lincoln. Quick tip, take your second dose on Nyquil after you get back from the store when going to get juice.

Knowing that i now had a full weekend supply of LoCal Grape Juice and Dextromethorphan HBr i returned home to watch Dr. Horrible, Commentary! The Musical. My faith in Joss Whedon, NPH, and the rest was well justified. I especially liked $10 Solo.

It seems that all is well in the world (or as well as things are likely to be with Obama and his cronies in charge of the Oconomy. [we'll return to this later]) and Cari has things well in hand at the office. So i think i'll sign off and return to my DXM induced psychedelic fever dreams.

Later

Bob


PS

Oh to be young and able to shrug these things off like a wet Hannah Montana towel. (There, this mention ought to pull you ahead of any former rail riders. You know who you are.)

Thoughts from Origins

I am sitting in Mike's party/guest/kitten room. The temperature is rising, meaning it will likely be quite warm on the trip home later today. It is quite here in Casa de Sonkson as i am the sole conscious individual. Mike and Austyn are asleep, arrival time 4:30AM. I arrived about 4:00 after taking Steve home (no, the Columbus Steve). Rolling in at 7:30 AM to disturb my fitful slumber was none other than Chris; and Eric, who knows when he got in. So what could have kept everyone out? Lets examine the possibilities.

Columbus Night Life

Columbus night life breaks down into a few categories. There are the various clubs about town. I don't frequent clubs as a rule and have never been to one in Columbus, but they exist. There are various Gentleman's clubs about town. Priding ourselves as gentlemen, this is a possibility; but alas no. On our sole excursion to such an establishment we were kicked out before we could even finish paying the cover charge. Such treatment ill befits a business that holds itself out as a place of gentlemanly persuasion. There are a good many bars downtown as the rediculously gridlocked traffic on High Street any week end night could attest. But swilling liquor while watching the despirately single try to achieve a momentary alleviation of said condition was not on the agenda as Chris is a child and ineligible for entry.

ComFest

Columbus is full of Commies, Hippies and various sorts of organized lowlifes. Apparently the city grants them a park to use for a few days on an annual basis. Presumably was is done in order to conveniently put them all in a single locale to be rounded up for arrest and police interrogation. This is not what you'd expect. The people of Columbus are so advanced on their tolerance that they allow these deviants to gather, pursue their sordid agendas, and even expose normal people to said activities without and reprisal. Well it's the tolerance thing or else the city is on the list of places to be raised with hellfire due to its general state of irredeemable corruption. Don't worry there will be plenty of time to evacuate as New Orleans and Chicago most assuredly top the list of American citys to say nothing of the rest of the world. So no, while Commiefest did attract our attention and presence this weekend we did not have any wish to see the degeneracy that no doubt developed after the sun ceased its baleful watch on this den of iniquity.

Origins

Bingo. Then again the conclusion of this piece is suggested in the title so no cookies will be awarded this time; but thanks for playing. Everyone stayed out past any reasonable hour to attend Origins. Well everyone but Sam. Sam left early having run out of things to do and recognizing the threat posed by unchecked numbers of hippies amalgamating on public grounds near the Convention Center.

Once again everyone was rocking the teacher scam. After all why not. Teachers get in free for whatever reason and damn near everyone i hang out with has sufficient credentials as an educator to get in without paying the cover. As a side not, we finally saw someone else in the teachers' lounge. The only other time this has occurred is back when there was free food in there, Gamers/Teachers + free food = a packed sweaty room and disgruntled rumblings of discontentment upon learning that milk is not being served in 8oz paper containers.

The dealer room was once again packed with wondrous items not seen since the King of Baghdad turned his city over to Morpheus, or GenCon; either one. I picked up a Rav block draft set, possibly to serve as my birthday draft. Mike picked up a few odds and ends. Chris picked up a beautiful girl with a tail, and you wondered why he was in so late.

As a result of my getting here late and the distaste left over from the last time i enrolled in an event run by PES, i played no MtG this year. But i did play a little Werewolf. The game is amusing in much the same way that watching any group of incompetent people try to get something done can be. Everyone thinks they know their own little trick that will give them an edge. They are wrong. Poker players, good ones, not the dead money guys; detectives; and trial lawyers probably have some kind of real edge. Presumably forensic psychologists would as well but i know none and will not speculate further into the ways of mystics as it is an area in which i am unfamiliar and uncomfortable as i generally dislike anything that lacks rational explanation. But Werewolf was entertaining and should i attend GenCon will probably play again.

Well, Mike has awakened and informed me that North Market awaits our brick purchase so i am off to look for little mushroom cookies.

Later

Bob

Brick Update

Mike and i thought you'd like a progress report an the brick acquisition project. So far TFW has had two separate benefit drafts. The first was a Mirrodin block draft and the second was a Time Spiral block draft. Both were held at Top Shelf Games and received enthusiastic responses.

As a result of these drafts we have raised eighty-nine dollars and twenty-four 20 oz. bottles of Diet Pepsi Lime. Why did we get the Diet Pepsi Lime? That is an interesting story.

As a result of Barrak Obama's bungling of the economy, many people are finding them short on cash. For some people this is a temporary problem. (I should correct that statement, for each American this is a temporary problem that will hopefully be corrected on November 6, 2012. But i digress.) Many of the people i play Magic with will find themselves short on cash, especially when they show up on Friday night not expecting to draft. So in keeping with the best of charitable fund raising traditions we here at TFW accept pledges. The first draft had three pledgers. One of these pledgers, Steve, is the supplier of the Diet Pepsi Lime.

Steve has a long and contentious history with TFW. He has founded a competing team in an effort to suppress our glory. It is safe to say he does not care what TFW thinks of him. Despite him not caring what TFW thinks of him, we let him into the draft. He did protest his money going to support the ambitions of Fort Wayne's premier website dedicated to insult and immature bragging. So Steve formulated a plan to both play in the draft and frustrate the goals of his nemeses.

Steve was aware of the coup i conducted to sieze control of Team Fort Wayne years ago. (He fervently reads every TFW update.) He is also aware of my opinion of Diet Pepsi Lime. By some trick of chance, fate, or (my favorite) karma about the time Steve's pledge would come due he chanced upon a large cache of 20 oz. bottles of Diet Pepsi Lime on sale at a local gas station. Knowing that i could not resist recieving a supply of Diet Pepsi Lime, he contacted me and offered this largess in exchage for the cancelation of his debt to TFW.

I was confronted with a dilemma: team loyalty or personal gain. Steve's offer would benefit me both by gaining a large quantity of my favorite non-eggnog beverage and in terms of novelty. I had not yet had Diet Pepsi Lime in 20 oz. bottles. But accepting this gift would delay the purchase of the brick and forstall team glory. Because TFW is an objectivist institution, i elected personal gain.

Based upon his feat of outwitting Team Fort Wayne, the team's executive committee determined that the 'h' would be dropped from his name and Steve would be extended an invitation the stay at Sonksen House for Origins this year.

The next benefit draft will likely take place Friday June 13 at Top Shelf. All are welcome to attend.

Later

Bob

Change sucks

There is no joy in Muddville. The retailer summit is canceled. This makes it official, Obama's bungling of the economy has finally gone too far. Lootfest will not happen this year.

There will be no armfuls of free stuff. There will be no thrilling anticipation of the moment that Jeremy finally gets thrown out. There will be no pie eating contest.

What began as a curious trip to check out this BBQ that Great Scott told Bex about became one of the high points on my calendar. A once a year tradition whose benefits extended far beyond the swag that loaded down my car by the end of the evening. It was a grand social networking opportunity. A chance to meet new and different fat guys in comic book T-shirts. Bex would come to town and examine the latest in polyhedral technology, purchase it in large quantities, and return home to let Alexander stomp on them before they were placed in the bell jar. Alex may be getting a little old to enjoy dumping out boxes of dice and then running around on them, before getting some chump, Kris or yours truly, to put them back in the box to begin the process anew, but i am not to old to remember such better days.

Gregg Easterbrook points out in The Progress Paradox that we, as a species, have a tendency to remember the good old days as far better than they were. Easterbrook chalks this up to the absence of adult responsibilities and the corresponding stress that comes with those responsibilities. My early days at the Retailer Summit were golden. How often does the opportunity to have a company president BBQ for you happen? The only other instance i know of is Biomet's Dane Miller, who was told that it was unseemly for the President to cook for his guests. Thank God for mavericks. (And for Bret and Bart and Beau, too.)

Change sucks. When it doesn't we call it progress. This isn't progress, so it sucks.

Returning to the lessons imparted to me by Mr. Easterbrook, i will try to remain positive. Life is getting better. One grand tradition of my life is falling away, but a new one has been begun. The Origins Convention will be happening again this 4th of July. Wait, they don't do that anymore, it is happening June 24-28. (Damn Change rears its ugly head again, but i digress.) Team Fort Wayne and The Plastic Generals will be descending on Mike's now gypsy-free apartment to partake in acts of revelry. This will be the third year in a row for such a gathering and as traditions go, this one is off to a good start. Mike has indicated that the cooling of the coals with Throwback Dew will be part of the new traditions being forged.

I'll miss the Diamond Retailer Summit. It is, after all, the place that i met Erin. (I'll bet you were wondering when i'd work that in.) I'll take with me such memories as vanquishing Ryan at the pie eating contest and in turn being vanquished by Steve in a later such contest. Even as this happy chapter of my life draws to it's close i look forward to new traditions to come. But still, change sucks.

Later

Bob

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Spring

What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding. ...

The long cold winter is finally over. No, not the 2008 winter that proved Al Gore has all the credibility of Professor Harold Hill. The long winter of no Team Fort Wayne updates. Webmaster and all around good guy, Mike, is back to updating the site.

Team Fort Wayne will be moving soon as geocities is shutting down but for now the page can be found here.

Enjoy.

Later

Bob

Team Fort Wayne is buying a brick

Team Fort Wayne is buying a brick.

Later

Bob


Wait.




You want more?





An explanation?



A brick is a block of ceramic material used in masonry construction, usually laid using mortar.


There, happy?



Oh, you want to know why we are buying a brick. Ok, here's the deal. Hippies like to have things, but they don't like to pay for things themselves. Hippies don't like to work so they often lack money to buy the things they need, like frisbees and weed. Ordinarily hippies will try to barter for the things they need and offer up something stupid like sidewalk art or a song, and then gullible yuppies will give them money thinking that they are supporting the arts. Yuppies like all social climbers since the Medichis think supporting the arts is important; this is why NPR is still on the air. (But i digress.)

The hippies in Columbus want to build a bell tower at their Hippie Market. Like all hippies, they'd prefer if someone else paid for said tower. This is where Team Fort Wayne comes in. Since its inception the various members of TFW have gone on the illustrious careers. I remain a lawyer, Jarad is a dentist, David is an electrical engineer, Michael Martin is a civil engineer, Eric Martin is an attorney, Michael Sonksen is still in grad school but will soon have a PhD. So we are the kind of upwardly mobile types that hippies like to hit up for money and in this case it worked.

One thing all TFW members have in common is that we all love the hippie market. Every member has fond memories of going to Columbus to play in some tournament and eating great things from the hippie market. Now that we are all in the process of scattering across this great land we call America (Canada and Mexico do not count) what better way to commemorate TFW than to buy a brick in the bell tower of the Hippie Market.

There will be a number of activities taking place to finance said brick. I will be holding a series of retro drafts. Rav, GP, DS draft; Mirrodin Sealed; and best of all an Asian Invasion money draft. Yes, and Asian Invasion Money Draft, you figure out how you'll read the cards. Mike will be charging a nominal fee for the use of his place at Origins.

And finally to satisfy your curiosity the brick will say:

TFW LOVES
HIPPIE MARKET


Now i hope you are all happy.


Later

Bob

Fun with Etymology

Word origins are important to me. Last time i went to church i walked out of the service because the pastor made stupid references to the etymology of one of the words selected in the New International Version translation of the Bible. One ought not use the etymology of an English word to determine what some one meant when writing in ancient Greek. But etymology is not just an excuse to storm out of church. Etymology can be fun, but Marina Orlova has found a way to make it sexy.




Before Erin gets too upset with me, i'd like to point out that Ms. Orlova received two degrees in philology from the Nizhny Novgorod State University in 2002, and taught English and world literature to high school students in Moscow, before moving to the United States to pursue further education. And i figure you'd all like to improve your vocabularies and knowledge of the English language. So subscribe to hotforwords or bookmark http://www.hotforwords.com/ and remember intelligence is sexy.

Later

Bob

Goodnight. Goodbye. Goodnight.

I read comics from time to time. Yes, i know, i am a bit of a geek. (25% according to this handy test.) I have just finished Detective Comics 853 written by Neil Gaiman. Detective Comics 852 & 853 serve as the epilogue for Batman RIP. Inspired by What Ever Happened to the Man of Steel?, Gaiman gives us the last Batman story. And it is a doozie.

Neil Gaiman writes comics, he writes them very well. Really he is the best. In fact, he can take comic straw and spin it into gold. When Spawn began it was nothing more than a fan-boy dream set to nice pictures. With one issue of Spawn in 1993 Gaiman gave the character a rich backstory and mythos in one stroke. His Sandman is not merely among the best comics written, it is among the best fiction ever written. Detective 852 and 853 are perhaps the best comics i have ever read.

I'd go on to do a proper review but there is little point. If you read comics, you'll take my word for it and pick up these issues. If Obama's economic recovery has left you short of cash i'll lend you mine. If you don't read comics you'd dismiss what i'd write and assume that once again i have confused my opinion with empirical fact. (For the record this is not possible, my opinion is empirical fact.)

This story perfectly portrays why heroes matter. It doesn't matter if it is Gilgamesh, Hercules, Batman, or John Galt, heroes inspire us to do better, to be better. Heroes matter. I am a better man for having read this story and i thank Mr. Gaiman for that.

Thanks Neil.

Bob

Love, Present and Past.

Have you seen the new Cupid? I have. I watched the two episodes out of order. I saw Ep. 2 before the pilot. This was the wrong order. The pilot was excellent. I didn't like Bobby Cannavale before i was the pilot and i still don't. But that is ok, i don't like Sarah Michelle Gellar, but i love Buffy Summers. Trevor Pierce is no Trevor Hale but he is good enough. Better than good enough, he is pretty good.

It is a little unfair to make comparisons of the 2009 version of Cupid to the 1998 version. Jeremy Piven is incredible, Bobby Cannavale is ok. Sarah Paulson is sweet and fine, Paula Marshall was smart and sultry. New York is generic, everything is set there; Chicago is a much more interesting locale. But just because something is superior does not render the lessor version meritless. Cupid (2009) is a good show.

The things that made Cupid (1998) good are still there. There is interesting contemporary music. You may take this sort of thing for granted given that Srubs has been on for eight years now and Gillmore Girls and Dawson's Creek have come and gone and moved on to syndication, but in 1998 using good, lesser known, contemporary music in your television series was novel. The good people at ABC have not changed this facet of the show in its new incarnation.

The show is also well written. Erin would tell you that it is corny or cheesey but that is ok; the show adds the appropriate amount of spice. It is exactly these qualities that make a series about love work. Incidentally, it is also exactly those qualities that make nachos work.

The leads have good chemistry. Even though ABC has insisted on a greater focus on the B story, the romance of the week, there is still plenty of time given over to the A story, Cupid and Psyche, er, Claire. As always there are pretty people on the show. (Here's to hoping Lisa Loeb is once again one of those pretty people.)

I hope you'll find time to watch, record, download or Hulu™ this fine program before it goes away. The original had a fifteen episode run, but each was gold. This current series may only take silver, but if that is good enough to get you on the Wheaties box then it is good enough to block out one hour a week for. (Forty-three minutes if you DL the show.)

Later

Bob


"I firmly believe his dreams are of nymphs and satyrs." Dr. Claire Allen

For those of you who are interested i have the original 1998 series starring the inimitable Jeremy Piven. It will be available via my loaner hard drive in the near future. Make your reservations now.

So what did you do in the dark?

Earth Hour has come and gone. Did you even notice? I'll admit i failed in my Earth Hour plans. It was a long week and i was exhausted by the end of it so i failed to ensure that all my lights we on. Instead i was having a nice dinner with Erin at Toscani Pizzeria at 120 W. Wayne Street in Fort Wayne.

The purpose behind Earth Hour is unclear. Some sources i read indicated that it was to draw attention to climate change. (Which of course i do not believe in as it is conventionally defined.) That infinite source of wisdumb, U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said that Earth Hour promises, “the largest demonstration of public concern about climate change ever attempted." Other sources indicated that Earth Hour was about drawing attention to energy consumption. Based on my research i think the energy consumption camp is the correct one.

I can get behind reductions in energy consumption as long as it is a result of increased efficiency rather that a lowering of standards. I like a minimum of 7,500 lumens in my bedroom at night. This amount of light is normally supplied by a 300 watt halogen bulb, a 150 watt incandescent GE Reveal 3-way bulb, a 100 watt full spectrum bulb, and supplemented by the output of my television and monitor. I could save energy and money by turning off a couple of these lights, but i don't want that. I want my 7,500 lumens.

Light is also a visual phenomenon so my light bulbs should have no significant audible element, or to put it more simply florescent lights are out. I also like a full spectrum, another knock on florescent. But if someone comes along with a bulb that will save me money by cutting my energy consumption, i'll gladly switch.

Compact LED lights are not quite there yet. There is too much blue in the light. The more astute among you are probably thinking why would i not like more blue, and you would be correct-- more blue is always better. But where light is concerned accuracy is important. I'll not have objects cloaked in a false bath of blue light and fraudulently partake in blue's glory, not even objects in my own home.

For now it seems that halogen lamps and incandescent are the way to go at least until 2014 when Congress has decided that we will all need to go to the local head-shop to get grow lights. Nancy Pelosi and her cronies in the 110th Congress decided to eliminate incandescent bulbs that produce between 310–2600 lumens of light, roughly, light bulbs between 40 and150 watts. Three-way bulbs are exempt, and so are plant lights. So come 2014 i'll need to go to the local hydroponics shop, stand in line with pot-smoking hippies, and have my name entered into some DEA database so that i can buy a 100 watt bulb to put into the lamp connected to my Sunrizer light-based alarm clock. Thanks, Nancy.

So to return to the original subject, Earth Hour, i'd have to say it was a rousing success; and by rousing success i mean total failure. The United Nations building went dark, a move officials say will save $102, a figure that fluctuated wildly from its whopping initial estimate of $81,000. After the story appeared on FOXNews.com, a spokeswoman called back to say their estimate was incorrect and the savings was $24,000, but then called back a third time to say it was really $102. That $102 number did not include the additional overtime that was paid to staff to turn off and turn back on the lights. But given that the UN is in New York City and pays union rates, i am sure that the $102 savings was more than offset by the addition overtime paid to those fine men and womyn.

The City of Phoenix spent $3,000, partly to pay city employees to shut off its lights for an hour during Earth Hour 2008. Observers commented that because Earth Hour volunteers drive around to get the word out, and because people use inefficient battery operated flashlights instead of more efficient [mains current] light bulbs, it's certain that Earth Hour actually resulted in a net increase in energy usage.

And for those of you thinking of joining in the festivities next year, the Christian Science Monitor said that most candles are made from paraffin, a heavy hydrocarbon derived from crude oil, a fossil fuel, and that depending on how many candles a person burns (if one uses candles during Earth Hour), whether or not they normally use compact fluorescent light bulbs, and what source of energy is used to produce their electricity, replacing light bulbs with candles will cause an increase, instead of a decrease, in carbon dioxide emissions. Suck on that, Ban Ki-moon.

Earth Hour comes and Earth Hour goes, but nothing really changes. That is the problem with symbolic events. If you want to make real changes it requires real effort. One hour a year isn't going to accomplish anything.

Later

Bob

Losing Sucks.

If you write about winning, you have an obligation to write about losing. On Wednesday, I lost. Losing Sucks.

It ought to be a slogan, Losing Sucks, no exclamation point because if you need one you don't get it. It's not that you are all charged up about losing, nor is it terribly emotional. It is a plain statement of fact.

You don't get to win everything. I get that. I show grace in defeat most of the time. But this is one i should have won.

Oh well. I lost. I'll deal with it.

On the upside, everyone there said i did a great job. Not that these things are judged on points. If they were my record would be a lot better. But like the Kennedy/Nixon debates it is not a matter of points, it's a matter of grabbing a random sampling of people and seeing what they thought. To quote Kent Brockman, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work." It didn't work last November, It didn't work in the primaries (Damn Huckabee), and it didn't work on Wednesday.

In the long run, none of this matters. I went home and slept in my own bed. The Earth still turns. Birds still sing. And Bruce Wayne is still stuck at the Dawn of Man (Damn Morrision). My minor triumphs and defeats hardly matter, not even to me. But losing still sucks.

Later

Bob

Jukebox

My jukebox is gone from Myspace. Maybe it is time to de-friend Tom.

Lost Gems and LEDs

You know you what really sucks?



Think about it...



Ok, you got it?



No, that's not it.

Today i am talking about things disappearing of the internet. I recently learned that in 1996 Cartoon Network commissioned a pilot for Plastic Man. I tried to track it down to no avail. I found several pages containing links to this elusive pilot but every link was broken. Now if this was the only thing to ever disappear from Al Gore's baby, it'd be no big deal. But many of the best things on the internet are disappearing.

It's been a few years since i was able to track down ESPN's coverage of the 1999 Magic world championship. As an example of American sarcasm, this essay was one of the best, but now it is lost; slipped into the æther between the ethernets.

I will make a stand against this lose of our collective electronic history. I have already started by saving things i like, but we all need to step up our efforts. I call upon someone to download, print, and bind 8-bit theater. (Kris, i am looking at you.) Someone needs to be archiving photos of Lindsay Lohan's boobs before disappear forever, like her career seems to be doing.


Now on to something different.

How cool is this?



That's right. It is a shower head with built-in LED lights. Each color corresponds to a different temperature range.

I am sure many of you now have a hole in you lives because your shower head does not have LEDs. I am considering getting this. The aesthetics of this thing are great and who wouldn't want the piece of mind that come from color coded temperature? And best of all, my preferred temperature range is blue.

Erin says it is a needless frivolity and that blue LEDs suck. Ok, maybe this isn't a direct quote. I am paraphrasing, but you get the point; she doesn't like it too much.

So, should i get it or not? I await your response, my faithful readers. Make your opinion count in a way that it didn't in November. Let your voice be heard. Tell Erin that we need this invention.


Later

Bob

Beautiful day. Makes you glad to be alive, doesn't it.

The problem with Spring is that it just isn't that pretty. So you ask, "But, Bob that's when all the pretty flowers come out, isn't it?" Yes, Yes, but i am talking about before that. A winter's worth of road salt and sand comes to the fore as the snow piled up by a succession of plows is revealed melts away. In my neighborhood last years dead leaves lie under the snow cover. Without that cover the green-brown lawns and the various hues of dead-brown leaves are revealed. Green and brown are not among my favorite colors and a palette of them is completely unappealing.

But when a spring thaw, complete with 50+ degree temperatures arrives on February 7 it is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately i will be unable to get the T-Bird out on Tuesday when temperatures are expected to reach 58°. I'll be spending the day working at the office and getting things around for the board meeting.


Now on to the random observation portion of today's post:

If you are going to be a teen-age punk, isn't it a good idea to not look like a teen-age punk. Running around looking like someone who causes trouble is a good way to attract suspicion, especially when you are out at night doing things that could get you into trouble. Someone should point this fact out to the teenager i saw last night.

Pretty girls don't have to do math, but isn't it nice when they can at least do simple arithmetic. "Okay I am really dumb at math. So if it's sixteen o'five and you give me twenty o'five, how much do you get back?" This question was actually posed to me last night as i picked up my calzones.

I spelled everything out so that those of you with math backgrounds and the more left-brain oriented readers would not have too much of an advantage in arriving at four. Four dollars.

The hostess was unable to reach this number. I don't think she knew where the pictographs for change were on her touch screen and was unable to calculate my change in her pretty little head. But as in every case there was a man around to do math for her, in this case: me. As long as she never moves to Themyscira she should be fine.


The gods of Magic love a humble man. I've already written a full post of how i was laid low by my pride in a game against Sam, but this time divine intervention came down on my side. In a three-on-three draft Sam and Chris were defeated by Ed. Ed's and Cody's victories led to our team's win. Without a doubt Ed is one of the most humble men i know, and his victories seemed miraculous. Sam got to witness these miracles, but more from the Egyptian side. Apparently the rain of frogs is less fun when it is happening to you.

Finally, a new five dollar challenge. The first person to post the source of this blog's title will win five bucks. Stephanie should win, but she doesn't come to Myspace anymore so the contest is wide open.

Later

Bob

I am indeed The Man, for today anyway.

I've been meaning to write about the end of Nog Season for a while now. For most of you Nog Season ended a few weeks ago when you could no longer get the nog of your choice at your local supermarket. Whether you prefer boiled custard, cinnamon egg nog, or just classic egg; Nog Season is the best time of the year.

For me Nog Season was extended with the purchase of four containers of Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice eggnog. Nog Season ended today as i finished the last bit of nog this morning before i left the house. It was a good season, but it is done and i'll have to wait another ten months for the next one to begin.

I had intended for this entry to be more of a lamentation but it is very hard for me to dwell on the negative for the moment. Maybe next year i can do the end of Nog Season proper justice; however, today i am just not feeling it. In fact i am feeling pretty good.

Today i won my trial. This case had it all. I cared a lot about this client, he was a good guy who needed the win so that he could go on in his chosen profession. The prosecutor was skilled, and better yet one of my friends. Victory is sweet. It is sweeter when it is shared with friends. It is sweeter still when it it over friends. So this was sweet. And i was good.

I know that you all expect me to be pretty self-laudatory. I am not really know for my humility. But today i was good; no, today i was great. The jury was not out for fifteen minutes today. It was a decisive win. If you get into trouble this is the type of performance you want me to put in, trust me.

Someday my friend may read this so let me say, you did a good job. Today was my day to win. You'll get yours and then you can lord it over me. The wheel keeps on turning. And guys in yellow shirts with pinky rings are definitely red regardless of how blue their answers may be.

I will not crow any longer. I am not here to gloat. I just wish i'd have saved a little bit of my nog to celebrate with.

Later

Bob

2008 in review

2008 was an interesting year. Brad decided that we should go our separate ways. That was a shock to the system. I'd seen it as a possibility, but Stephanie thought it would never happen. Never think something can never happen. (This is why i train to be ready for the Zombie Apocalypse). But i learned that a lot of people believed in me and were ready to offer assistance.

I thought it appropriate to offer some thanks in semi-permanent, digital form as is i am wont to do. David Kruse came through with the excellent office space in which i am now located Judge Brown and Claramary offered a good deal of sage advice. My Father was there to pitch in with whatever needed done, and lit the pilot light on my water heater. Merlin once again will make sure that things run properly. Brian wired my garage so there'd be light for the T-Bird and i could get rid of the ugly orange extension cord.

If you were not mentioned here, your efforts were appreciated.

In other bad news for 2008:

B. Hussain Obama was elected. (No further explanation is required on this, but i will doubtlessly expand upon it in the coming months and years.) Pushing Dasies Season Two was a disappointment. Oh, and like the rest of you, the falling market killed my retirement account.

In better 2008 news:

I discovered Burn Notice. I was lead to this fine series after the discovery of Uncle Orson Reviews Everything. (No link this time, Google it and you will find it.) I attended my first Liberty Fund Conference. I got a passport so that i might attend my second but that will be covered in the 2009 year in review, hopefully. I read State of Fear, this should be required reading for any student subjected to Al Gore's propaganda film. On second thought it should be required reading for all secondary instructors so that they might no longer try to inculcate children with the worst scientific proclamation since the Catholic Church insisted that the Earth was the center of the universe. And i met Erin.

On balance the good outweighed the bad. I'd even say that if you took Erin out of the equation; but with her factored in, it wasn't even close. Obviously a lot more happened that was covered here, but if you've been reading this blog then you should be aware of most of it.

Later

Bob

PS

One last 2008 thought, on the last day of the year Amazon made me aware of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I was five months late to the party, but it is a hell of a party. If you can't find a copy out there on the world wide web, let me know and one will be forthcoming.