Wednesday, December 17, 2008

’Twas a week before the night before Christmas

'Tis the season. The season for Rudolf stop motion, Charlie Brown, and Christmas Story. To this illustrious list i'd like to add Twas the Dark Knight Before Christmas. This Youtube short by ItsJustSomeRandomGuy captures the spirit of the season with a Gotham twist.




Merry Christmas to all and to all a Dark Knight.

Bob

Sunday, December 14, 2008

June 24, 2008, through December 14, 2008.

  • This one is for Stehven

    This is written in Chrome on Erin's new laptop. I'll fix the formatting later. (12/14 10:59 A.M. formatting fixed)

    This post is for Steve because i'd hate disappoint.

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED (NOT)

    It was never my goal to see you quit Magic. If you wanted to say that i had any goal in mind for you it'd have to be that i wanted to see you learn to have a little self esteem and make something of yourself.

    You were making good progress down that path. You are buying a place, even if it has wheels and attracts UFO's. You have a good job that you have kept longer than anyone at TFW other than myself and a former member that would rather that i not mention that he ever played Magic as that would be uncool. I still think you ought to go back to school as i have previously mentioned.This is the second post i have written for you. That puts you ahead of most of the people i know. I'd be disappointed if i did not see you again.

    So, my loyal non-Steve readers, why am i posting this you might be asking. Simple, i figure i owe Steve seeing how he started my fan club. I've had a lot of fans over the years, Greg, the guy at IU who invented my religion, (yes, i have my own religion, no i had no part in coming up with it and you wonder why i have a god complex) Red, the Auburn players, Sliver Guy, you get the point; but only one person bothered to make a web site and print T-shirts. And i figure someone that can do that deserves to get his wish.

    There i wrote what Steve wanted. Now i ought to get what i want which would be for him to return to FNM periodically. Of course i find Steve annoying from time to time, but then i find every single person at Top Shelf to be annoying from time to time, including Sam and Chris. (The exceptions are Aaron and, as always, Erin.)

    So anytime you want to borrow a deck, i'll have one waiting. This offer good only for complete decks and not for single cards as single cards are a giant pain in the ass to keep track of.

    Later

    Bob
  • Ô Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,





    Quick name Canada's greatest export.















    Ok what was your answer?












    Did you save Avril Lavigne?  You get partial credit.  But i've covered her previously.










    Did you say William Shatner?  Full credit, but not the answer we were looking for.












    Did you say Curling?  No credit.  None.











    The answer we were looking for is Corner Gas. 

    I've gone on at length concerning this fine Canadian comedy so i'll not repeat myself again.  But i will let you know that new episodes of Corner Gas are running on CTV for our timid neighbors to the North.  This is the last season of Corner Gas.  If you are looking to get your own Corner Gas bowling shirt, i'd act soon.  Who knows what prices those things will reach on the secondary market.  Corner Gas merchandise would make an excellent Boxing Day present. (That is if you associate with members of a lower social class.)

    Watch Corner Gas.

    Later

    Bob






  • My Favorite Cover Songs

    I haven't been writing much lately.  As i have said before i have been very busy working on setting up my new office.  Normal workload + new workload = less time and more stress.  Stress is as bad for your muse as it is for your blood pressure and heart.

    When you can't think of anything new you return to old topics and see if there is anything fresh there that you can work with.  Of the topics i covered in the past one of my most popular posts was My Ten Favorite Songs so i thought i'd try a variation on that theme. 
    And without further adieu: My Favorite Cover Songs

    A cover song doesn't need to be better than the original to make this list.  To make this list a cover song needs to bring something new or strike a different note that resonates in a way the original did not.  The point here is that these are cover songs that i like regardless of their actual merit.

    Love Song covered by 311
    This song makes the list merely because i like the original by the Cure so much.  This could be my favorite song ever so even an inferior version is still good.  This version has a light Caribbean feel to me but the reason i like it is that while i love the original the 311 version does not make me sad.  I still feel pangs of lost love when i hear the Cure's Love Song, but have no such problem with the 311 cover.

    Enjoy the Silence by Lacuna Coil
    Again we have another remake that makes the list based on the strength of the original.  Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode is another of the songs that invokes powerful feelings of the past in me for the same reasons Love Song does.  Depeche Mode was introduced to me by Jenny so my feelings about the band are intertwined with my feelings about the girl. 
    The Lacuna Coil cover has more of a heavy and modern feel.  When i hear it i still feel how strong the song is but it doesn't feel trapped in the past; or maybe it is just me that feels trapped sometimes.

    Every Little Thing He Does is Magic by Shawn Colvin
    There are not a lot of good memories i have of working third shift at Scotts in college, but this song is one of them.  Scotts was unwilling to pay the royalties associated with popular songs by popular acts so they frequently had cover songs.  This was the best of them.
    Shawn Colvin's cover of this Police song puts an acoustic twist on the original.  Combined with the sweetness of Ms. Colvins voice this song was often the highlight of my miserable third shift life.

    Ring of Fire by Social Distortion
    I am not much of a punk fan but occasionally there is a song i like put out by a punk band, not that they care if i like it or not, not that they care if you like it or not, not that they care that anyone likes it at all for that matter. 
    The funny thing about this song is that for years i loved the original Johnny Cash version, complete with its mariachi horns.  But it turns out that Johnny's version is a cover of Anita Carter, Johnny's sister in law.  June had written for her sister who released it to little acclaim.  Mr. Cash would later go on to great success with this ditty and eventually Social Distortion would cover it.  The Social Distortion version lacks the mariachi horns.

    Hurt by Johnny Cash
    Johnny Cash is likely the only artist to appear twice on this list which is a little odd given that i generally dislike country music.  Johnny Cash transcends country music and this song transcends its Nine Inch Nails source.  I like Trent Reznor and no one does Nine inch Nails better than Trent, but Johnny Cash does this song better.  Mr. Cash conveys an honesty and earnestness that the original lacks.  Johnny Cash's version makes me hurt.

    Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) by Nancy Sinatra
    Sonny Bono wrote this song for Cher.  She released it in 1966.  In 1967 Nancy Sinatra would release her cover.  There is a reason Quinten Tarentino chose the Nancy Sinatra version over Cher's. (And it is not because Cher is a bitch.)  Nancy's version is a classic and Cher's will win you a game of Trivial Pursuit.

    Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm
    This is the song that inspired this post.  As i was watching American Pie 2 tonight i heard this song.  I really like this song, but i love the video.  Alien Ant Farm manages to send up Michael Jackson's video excesses in a way that is not derogatory or mocking of the source.
    Michael's version is a classic, if you doubt it watch Moonwalker again.  Alien Ant Farm's version is a fine tribute to a great song and a formerly great artist.

    Putting on the Ritz by Shiny Toy Guns
    This song is a cover of a cover, near as i can tell.  STG is covering the Taco cover of the Irving Berlin originally written and recorded in 1929. 
    As good as this version is, you have not heard it until it is being sung to you in an attempt to seduce you.  That puts a completely different spin on the song and that is the reason it was selected for this list over STG's cover of Stripped by Depeche Mode even though i do so much prefer Carah's songs to Chad's.

    Well, nine hundred and fifty words and nine cover songs ought to be enough for now.

    Later

    Bob
  • Object Lessons

    or

    You can beat Sam but you cannot humiliate him.

    As promised, here is my story:

    Sam was back.  Filled with his typical arrogance Sam swaggered into Top Shelf on Friday.  His arrogance is well founded and has been rightfully earned.  But from time to time i feel the need to impart a lesson unto Sam, and Friday's lesson was in humility.

    Sam announced there was no chance i could beat him and although i'd give him the win as it means much more to him than to me, so i decided that it would be good to wipe the smugness from his visage.  In this effort i succeeded.  Unfortunately in the process i went on quite the ego trip myself and it was my time to fall.

    As well you know FNM is played in a best of three format.  Game one Sam was soundly defeated and the trash talking began.  Oh, to repeat the exquisite choice of words, inflection, and condescension but such writing would require grater talent than i possess.  I was in rare form and for one was not there, my meager capacity to describe it could never convey the grandeur of the moment. (This is just of fancy way of saying that you had to be there.)

    Game two was another story.  Here the Gods noticed that i had been made proud, that is never good.  Needless to say as any good epic requires dramatic tension, i was overcome in game two so that game three could unfold and the story reach both its climax and conclusion.

    In Game three i had Sam soundly defeated very early in the game.  In that exact moment we both recognized was was occurring and that i had won.  But consumed with pride myself, winning was not good enough.  I went for the humiliation of my opponent rather than his simple defeat.  This was a grave error.  I had failed in every way possible in that moment, but i could not see it.  I was consumed with visions of Glory and the adulation that would fallow when the master once again thrashed his unruly disciple and restored order to the dojo.

    I had forgotten that this student had long ago snatched the pebble from my grasp and his reach exceeded my own.  Filled with hubris, i had forgotten what we were there for.  We were there simply to play a game between two friends.  One friend need not and should not attempt to humble the other.  Friends should rejoice in one another's accomplishments and relish them.  Sam needed no more that a brief word in private and by attempting to humiliate him before others i was made humble myself.

    Despite the very poor odds of success for Sam with my chosen strategy, he overcame those odds and reminded me once again that i am no longer the protagonist in that story, it is he.  I am Odysseus to his Aeneas. (Think Gemmell, not Homer.)  I was destroyed.  Sam proved that he was the better man.

    Had i simply sought victory in the game and not over the man, i would have won.  I let pride blind me.  It is not common for me to be wrong, but i always try to admit when i am.  Here i was wrong.  I should have remembered that although i am often the instructor to others now, there is still much i need to learn. 

    Having been chastened by the Gods i will go forth as a more humble man.  Not humble exactly as this is still beyond me, but more humble.

    Good Game Sam, and thanks for the lesson.

    Later

    Bob


  • This is not for you.

    It is my time to tear down, to rend, and to hate.  Tonight i sit here tonight unable to sleep.  Recently i have been betrayed by those close to me and those not so close.  I have watched as those around me kept secrets or tried to keep them  I have learned who my friends are, and who they are not. 

    I am tired of doing what is right for no other reason than it is the right thing to do.  I am tired of being responsible.  I long to indulge my darker appetites and damn the consequences, but i am not that person.

    Tonight as is often the case i rage.  I rage.  I rage without direction or purpose.  I allow myself no target to visit my wrath upon and thereby dissipate it.  I contain my rage.  I rarely allow you to glimpse it.  It is not to be shared.  It is mine. 

    Tonight i share.  Not with anyone in particular, but with the anonymous web.  There is nothing intimate here.  I am not bearing my soul to you, my reader.  This is not a lesson.  I am no teacher or philosopher offering neither guidance or wisdom.

    I am writing this for myself.  I put words to pixels to examine later in a different time and frame of mind. 

    I believe anger can lead one down three paths.

    The first path is to express your anger.  To explode.  At someone.  At something.  At anything.  Primal.  Visceral. 

    This is usually an exercise in futility.  Rarely will an expression of anger solve you problem.  Usually anger is directed at the wrong person.  Whether you follow the Chain of Screaming, or the Circle, or the Pyramid, unless you confront the source, you will not solve the underlying issue.  Anger clouds the mind.  Without clarity it is unlikely that you will accurately identify the problem or correctly determine its solution.

    The second path is to contain your anger.  Repress it.  Bottle it up.  Push it down.  Control is the watch word.

    Ahh control, such is my preferred method of dealing with anger.  To put forth a facade of calm while you boil with rage is wonderful.  You are thus able to contain lesser angers and can be very useful whether you are dealing with a dimwitted cashier at a fast food restaurant or are conducting the defense at a methamphetamine case.

    But containment requires constant strength of resolve.  The more you contain your anger the more you must.  It becomes expected of you.  You are depended upon and greater demands are made of you.  When your resolve falters your anger can burst forth like a river contained by a failed dam.  I am approaching failure.

    So tonight i write.  I will try to let my anger go.  This is the third path.  I will not seek redress or vengeance.  I will not offer instruction or forgiveness.  I will simply let go of my anger. There will be no resolution.  I will not seek confrontation.

    I will simply let it go.  There will be nothing to express or contain.  The anger will sublimate and its vapors will fade away into nothingness.

    If i succeed.

    Later

    Bob

  • Been a While

    I have not been doing much blogging of late.  Rather than provide a lengthy explanation full of expositions and other words designed to demonstrate my erudition i thought maybe i'd try something a little more pithy.

    Top Ten Things Bob has been doing instead of Blogging on Myspace:

    10. Fallout 3

     9.  Burn Notice

     8.  Tempest Beta Testing

     7.  Working

     6.  Reading Uncle Orson

     5.  Appletini / Rock Band Parties

     4.  FNM

     3. Rereading David Gemmell's Troy

     2.  Creating my Blogspot account

     1.  Spending time with Erin (What you thought i'd leave her out of my post?)

    There.  Good Enough?

    Later

    Bob
  • Sweet Land of Liberty Valance

    I haven't written much lately.  I haven't been in much of a mood to write.  But i had to write something after watching the first three minutes of Boston Legal Episode 3 of season five.

    Those of you who know me know i am a big William Shatner fan.  I am also a fan of Denny Crane, Shatner's character on Boston Legal.  I don't want to spoil it for you, so i won't tell you what happened.  All i can say is my reaction was, "Goddamn i love this show, Denny Crane is awesome."

    Find this episode.  Watch the first three minutes.  If you don't love it, you are wrong and should seek professional help.

    Later

    Bob
  • The Folly of Youth or I Stand Alone.

    Originally i intended to write something about Greg Easterbrook and why you all should be reading his column.  I will write that piece, but current events demanded that i write this instead.

    So without further adieu,


    Mike likes to say he is always against the youth candidate.  In the 20087 election Barack Hussain Obama is the youth candidate and all sensible adults oppose him.  Only foolish youths and people looking for a hand out are in support of B. Hussain.  But the purpose of today's post is not to indite those social leeches looking for more free cheese; instead I wish to reflect on the folly of youth.

    The problem with being young is that young people have not developed the ability to look forward and use that knowledge to act in their own best interest.  Young people live in the present, the here and now.  Without the use of the foresight granted by advanced age and experience the young will sacrifice their long-term best interest upon the alter of immediate gratification.  They demand immediate gratification, any waiting or postponement of pleasure is unacceptable.  They will settle for humorless and banal if it gets them off. (Look those words up, you know who you are.)

    Other than immediate gratification, the young have one other interest: Change.  Yes, Change with a capital "C."  The young automatically reject all that has come before them, in favor of Change.  Change is desirable because those who proceeded the young must not have known what they were doing, after all, the world is terribly flawed so the elder care takers must have done something wrong.  Or so the young fallaciously reason.  Youth are by definition inexperienced and lack the knowledge that is earned through experience.  The demand utopias and "Light to Shine Upon Them." to fill them with enlightenment.

    Change is bad.  Take a moment and let that sink in.  Change... is... bad.  How many of you want the old Facebook back?  The new Facebook is Change at work.  What about MtGO 3.0?  Again, we see the wicked hand of Change at work.  When change is good we call it progress.  The Playstation 3 is not Change, it is progress.  Change gave you the Gamecube.  When something brand new is accomplished it is not Change, it is innovation.  The Wii is innovation.  The U.S. Constitution is innovation.  Myspace is innovation.

    I will stand as a bastion of all that is right and good.  Even if it means I must stand alone as my friends and former friends abandon and betray me.  I will stand as a testament to the wisdom gained through experience and hard work.  I will not naively demand Change for the sake of Change.  I will endure the mockery and ridicule of those junior to me.  Childish taunts do not deter adults from doing what is best. 

    In time the young come around.  Oh, not all of them, but the best among them.  It is this Remnant that i concern myself with, not the masses.  Those who are capable rise above the hoi polloi and take their rightful place among the responsible adults. 

    I will serve as an example to these children.  I will watch them crawl and struggle to stand on their own.  I will watch them stomp their feet and scream to get their way.  And when they can finally take the confident strides of an adult, i will greet them as my peers.

    But for now i stand alone.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

    Later

    Bob

    P.S.
    For those of you seeking the inspirations for this piece, i will direct you to the work of two gentlemen whose work i admire even if i respectfully disagree. 
    Time-for-Choosing
    Conformity is a Virtue (Christopher, it is not.)

    Finally for the benefit of the unread:
    Synonyms for "hoi polloi" include "...commoners, great unwashed, minions, multitude, plebeians, proletariat, rabble, rank and file, riffraff, the common people, the herd, the many, the masses, the peons, the working class". (From the Wikipedia, of course.)

  • Lie with passion and be forever damned.

    Lie with passion and be forever damned.

    I have always loved that phrase.  It is cool to write and even cooler to say.

    That is it for this one.

    Later

    Bob
  • PEZ

    Each package of PEZ contains 35 calories. (Unless you count sugar-free PEZ as PEZ, which i do not.)  I am not sure there is a better way you can spend 35 of your daily 2000-2500 than on PEZ.  As a treat it is almost unequaled. 

    While i was in CVS this weekend i chanced upon a sale section of candy.  As you can guess from the title and introductory paragraph, PEZ was on sale.  So i bought all 13 packages for the mere price of 48 cents each.  It was a great deal.

    I normally buy single flavor packs.  Mixed flavors are generally inferior because it is almost sure to contain less than you'd like of your favorite and more than you'd like of your least favorite.  But on this occasion, Assorted Fruit Candy is what was on sale, so it is what i bought.

    The package draws in the eye.  Alternating red, yellow, orange, red, yellow, orange, red, yellow, orange, and finally red.  It is a garish sight.  There is of course the tradition block-lettering capital P, E, and Z spelled out as if assembled from PEZ candies.  The individual package contains .29 ounces of sugary goodness.  (That's 8.5 grams for the more metrically minded of you.)  Back in the day the colored wrapper was a sleeve surrounding the silver foil inner wrapper.  But like many things from the long, long ago that is no longer the case.  The wrapper is a single foiled paper now.

    Upon taking up the package if one smells the candy while still wrapped, the lemon pieces will dominate.  Perhaps one who has been cursed with a better sense of smell than i will be able to pick out the other flavors and enjoy the subtle interplay of the orange, cherry, and grape within.  Such subtlety is lost on me, so i rarely savor the scent of the PEZ and simple rip into the package to consume the contents with, consuming each flavor individually.

    Orange is usually elected to go first.  It is a fine flavor.  It tastes of long sea voyages and the defeat of scurvy.  But where PEZ is concerned fine falls short of sublime and better flavors await.

    Cherry is next.  In other candies cherry would be accorded greater status, but in this package it simply edges out orange, a none too difficult task.  To be honest it is difficult to identify what flavor the red candies are.  Artificial cherry, and raspberry can be difficult to distinguish when packaged together with other flavors.  It is a testament to the weakness of orange that it is edged out by this nebulous red variety of PEZ.

    Now we get to the good stuff.  Lemon is next.  Ahhh, lemon. We have no passed into the realm of the sublime and the first stop is lemon.  Little drops of sunlight-infused sugary goodness.  I like lemon.  Each individual candy is savored for the treat that it is.  Lemon PEZ is one of the things that make life worth living.

    And finally we reach grape.  King of PEZ.  If the Kansas Board of Education was smart they would point to grape as one of the best signs of intelligent design for our universe.  It can be no accident that purple has become associated with both royalty and grape flavor; surely there is the hand of an intelligent creator at work here.  If lemon is sublime then grape is divine.  Reason alone cannot explain how great each and every grape PEZ is.  Although it is not recorded on the list of ingredients, i am certain to each grape PEZ a drop of perfection is added.  Of this fact there can be no doubt, after all we are dealing with divinity and such things require faith.

    I highly recommend that you go out and get yourself some PEZ.  But i would advise you that the CVS on Wells and State is out of stock.

    Later

    Bob
  • Subtractions and additions

    I was recently removed from Ben's friend list, but added to Gregory and the Hawks so i came out even.

    I have cut the following songs from my playlist:

    Furious Angels by Rob Dugan

    Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega

    I have added the following songs to my playlist:

    Sweet Misery by Michelle Branch (Based on a suggestion by Sam.)

    In Fact by Gregory and the Hawk

    Closer by Joshua Radin

    Only You by Joshua Radin

    Walking on the Moon by The Police

    I am pretty sure i came out ahead in the playlist selection.

    Nothing is static.  Sometimes your friends abandon you as they begin the next chapter in their lives.  Sometimes you find a new friend who better fits and old ones begin to fall away. 

    I saw Brett for the first time in a long time.  Sometimes i miss Brett and my other roommates from Bloomington.  Each of my roommates brought something useful to my life, even Tyrone.  But i never really see any of them anymore. 

    It is not so much that i don't want to see them or, i hope, that they do not wish to see me.  It is more along the lines of distance in both time and space has made it difficult for me to see them.  We have all grown and have very different interests and lives than when we were all living together in Varsity Villas.  Maybe i just need to try harder?

    I don't see Jason any more, but at least he reads this blog, even commenting on occasion.

    For every loss though there is a more than compensating gain.  Sam has matured from an annoying little tattle-tale to a real friend.  Chris has made it necessary for me to differentiate the Kris/Chris in my stories.

    And then there is Erin.  Erin is in a different catagory.  She makes everything better.  Not just the things we do together, even the things i do on my own are made better by Erin.  I do better at work, i do better at home.  Hell, i am better at Magic than i have been in years.  Though to be fair, while Sam and Chris may have contributed more in this area, the desire to impress Erin cannot be discounted.  Every day i try to demonstrate that i am worthy of the bounteous improvements that she has brought into my life.

    I know the topic of Erin's greatness has come to dominate most of my recent postings, but no more so than it has come to dominate my thinking.  I assure you my next posting will be a more conventional one, although a few words on my favorite girl will no doubt seep in.

    I am pleased that i am still coming out ahead in the game of life.  In fact with one or two more status cards i will be able to announce that "I am going for it."  Hopefully Rick and Jason will not be hording any News cards.

    Later

    Bob
  • Thirty-eight to thirty-eight

    I have a mere thirty-eight hours left until once again we recognize, nay celebrate, the event of my birth.  Ordinarily i do not go in for such festivities but Erin's excitement is infectious and i have become caught up in it.

    I have a number of activities planned, some of which have already been set into motion.  The first of which is a birthday feast for one.  Even as we speak i am awaiting a succulent dish of slow-cooked beef, potatoes, carrots and onions.  This is a somewhat experimental dish as i have changed the seasonings used.  It will either be most excellent, or quite heinous.  But celebration of my birth demands novelty. 

    Additional epicurean delights are also planned and these shall be shared with a fortunate few.  I shall be preparing home-made iced cream such that even the discriminating palate of C. Montgomery Burns himself would declare his delight.  Erin will be preparing some number greater than zero of cake or cake-like confections. (A proper cake consists or 2 or more layers of round cake.  Cake-like confections include such things as cupcakes, sheet cakes, and cake rolls.)  Those seeking to participate in the consumption of these treats should contact me or simply be present at the place of their consumption.  If you are unaware of the location, you are probably not intended to partake, sorry.

    But not being a glutton there are, of course, other activities planned.  I anticipate breaking the 1900 barrier at the conclusion of FNM.  After all, who cannot be persuaded to concede to me so that i can complete my birthday wish?  At the conclusion of FNM there will be a draft for those hand selected by me.  Criteria for selection include entertainment value, loyalty, ambiance, and not frustrating my birthday wish.

    The final thing i hope to accomplish for my birthday is the selection of a new watch.  As i have previously lamented, my current watch needs to be replaced.  I have always refused to do so because i really, really like that watch.  It bears repeating, "I know any watch that i get to replace it will be inferior, because it will not be my watch , it will just be some watch that has replaced my watch."  But hope springs ever anew that perhaps i will find something satisfactory.  After all if the celestial spheres can be aligned appropriately to arrange my fate to find the right watch then such alignment must surely be most likely on the auspicious date of my birth.

    Enjoy the next thirty-eight hours.  I intend to.

    Bob 
  • A Hoosier returns from the Empire State

    I survived the trip to New York.  Here are some of my observations:

    Clinton is a nice place to visit.

    Friendlies has great ice cream.

    The drive back from Buffalo isn't too bad.

    I like Peanut and Shatule.

    Cello music is good.  I'd like to hear more, but i really like just the one artist.

    Erin has a great mother.

    Tollway plazas do have the best fudge.

    Funk music is a good choice for drinking and conversation.

    Erin's dad is very smart.

    Pools are nice.

    Uttica greens are good, even the mediocre ones.

    I need new CD's for my car, the current ones are played out.

    I really love Erin.
  • Turn around and leave again

    Seems like i just got back from GenCon.  Probably because i just got back from GenCon.  Unfortunately i have no good tales to tell as those tales belong to others who have not yet seen fit to publish them.  I have one, but its telling is for another day.  Maybe if Chris had a Myspace page, or Sam ever updated his things would be different.  But things are not different, they are as they are.

    In a matter of hours we leave for New York.  It should be a nice trip.  I am assured that there will be many fine Italian eateries in area.  I plan to avail myself to such opportunities.  Beyond that, the plans are Erin's and i await their unfolding.  I may be in the driver's seat, but she is the captain of this voyage.

    My kitties will quaff from the chalice of bitter abandonment once more.  But i will return to restore their faith in their Bringer of Warmth, Light, Food, and All Good Things.  Some people have opined that i have a God-complex--untrue.  I can barely handle the two cats i have.  Six billion people asking me for miracle cures, lottery numbers, and that the cute guy they met at the bar will actually show up for drinks, or at least call, would be too much for me. (Cue the flood.  No boat this time.)

    My next upcoming event is the Diamond Retailers Summit, or Lootfest.  Those of you who are attending need to get together to plan.  We will need a new person to handle seating arrangements as i will most assuredly be sending any red-headed hussies to another table this year, despite any whining this may create amongst the rest of you.

    For those of you who play Magic, i need six points to reach my goal.  It'd be nice if you were to show and give them to me for my birthday next Friday.

    I have some packing to do now.

    Later

    Bob
  • Goog411 is here

    Google is there anything it cant do?  Google is launching its own 411 service. Thanks to Kris and the magic of Stumbleupon i was made aware of Goog411.  Google is basically launching its own free 411 information service.  No more lining the diapers of the mutant metamorphoses of the Baby Bells, now Google will look up Momma Mia's phone number for you. (In case you needed it, it is 485-9777; get the BBQ Roast Beef Sub).

    I dislike Google's hippie philosophies.  I hate Google's politics.  But i do love Google's products.  Google Maps are one of my favorite toys.  I don't even look at another search engine.  And Gtalk has all but obsoleted every other IM program i use.  I don't ever use 411 services, but if i needed to use one this would be one i'd use.

    Larry Page and Sergey Brin may be evil.  After all what better cover could there be than espousing the corporate philosophy, "Don't Be Evil."  And they may have insidious plans for taking over the planet.  If they do Goog411 is surely part of the plot.  But someone has to serve as a counterpoint to the Illuminati, Bill Gates, The Walton Family, the Catholic Church, the Free Masons, or whomever your favorite world Dominator happens to be.  Why can't it be two pretty nice guys from Stanford that have already made the world a better place.  Besides if these guys do manage to take over the world it'd probably end up being a lot like Hank Scorpio's Globex; i'd work there.

    Later

    Bob
  • 7=8

    As a result of a rash action by a former friend who will remain nameless because he no longer has an identity, i only have seven people in my top eight.  As most of you know i have a number of arbitrary rule for how the top eight slots are assigned.  I am considering a revision of my top eight selection process.  I would welcome input.

    In other developments, I have been listening to a fair amount of Eminem of late.  I am not sure why.  He evolved into an anti-Bush rabble rouser, before he left the public stage to concentrate on being a producer.  Then again, if i stop listening to everyone who hates George W. Bush, i'd be down to Britney Spears and country music sans-Dixie Chicks (traitors). I am less sure why there has been no attempt to fill the void left when he went on hiatus. 

    Over the weekend i worked on something for work that i have to get down before i leave for GenCon.  That of course means i'll probably have to spend this weekend working on it as well.  I guess there are worse fates and the light at the end of this tunnel is that i get to go to GenCon.

    Speaking of GenCon, it is that time of year again.  The unwashed, obese, back-pack toting, black-wearing hordes will once again mass in Indianapolis.  I got my room early this year and will be at the Hilton.  It has been a while since i attended a GenCon and this year i will be going with Erin; though if Origins was any guide, i'll see little of her there.  Kris' attendence is uncertain at this time, but hopefully he will be in attendance as well.  If he fails to show i won't know when to go to P. F. Changs to get the best chef and will have to postpone my Brazillian Gill outing again. (Boo.)  Maybe Jarad will want to go.

    Finally i'll leave you with this piece of advice, when buying VHS tapes at library sales make sure the tape corresponds to the box.  Zoolander is a fine movie but it is not what i bought.

    Later

    Bob
  • All better. Well not quite, but good enough.

    A little bit of rest and the love of a good woman work wonders.  After getting some rest the last couple of days and getting to see a fair amount of Erin over the weekend, my mood is substantially improved.  The BBQ Roast Beef sub i had over the weekend didn't hurt either.

    Things are still hectic at work and my home still requires much work, but it is more manageable and less overwhelming.  My basement needs sealed and painted.  My trim will need to be painted.  Erin remains the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.

    Other good things i have observed, encountered, or heard about recently:

    Batman the Dark Knight has been getting great reviews.  I am actually looking forward to a Batman Movie for the first time since 1989.  The only bad review i've seen was in the New Yorker, and what do they know.  The forum trolls have a little to say about the negative review.

    Comment on the New Yorker's review of Batman the Dark Knight:
    Didn't like IronMan and liked Hancock. That tells me everything I need to know about you.
     
     And another:
    Pretentious Douche Bag...

     
    Sometimes forums are fun:

    The Dark Knight Fan 1 writes:
    on Jul 14 2008 10:16 AM

    Look at his ugly ** face. Just by looking at it you can tell this guy has no life and craves attention by saying oh my god its in a constant climax I can't stand it!


    There is no wisdom to be found in the forums, but they can be amusing.

    Fallout 3 Collector's Edition comes with a lunch box.  While i have many grave concerns about Bethesda turning my beloved Fallout into a first-person shooter, the lunch box clenches the deal.  I will be getting this game.  BioShock was the best media release in 2007 so i do have a glimmer of hope that a good story can be told in first-person shooter format.

    Aside
    Other nominees for best media release of 2007 included:
    Troy: Shield of Thunder (Troy Trilogy)
    The Big Bang Theory, Season 1.
    Idiocracy
    and
    The Winter 2007 update for the Team Fort Wayne Webpage
    End Aside

    I am reading America's Dumbest Generation.  Why do all of the defenders of reading books have to come off as pretentious snobs?  The book's thesis is that America's under the age of 30 are barely literate cretins with no understanding of history, politics or economics.  The author contends that the failure of these kids to read has rendered them completely unfit to handle any kind of adult responsibility.  "So what's the problem, after all each of the above statements is true?" you are asking my oh so astute reader, and you are correct. 

    Kids under 30 are basically attractive troglodytes, well the ones that have not succumbed to pandemic obesity are any way.  But the author supports his conclusions with such outstanding statements as "To replace the book with the screen is to remove a 2,500-year-old cornerstone of civilization and insert an altogether dissimilar building block."  Can you spot the problem with that statement?  If you are under 30 and lack critical reading skills, i'll help you out.  Books are not 2,500 years old.  Worse than that widespread literacy did not happen until after the invention of the printing press in 1439.  Finally the screen as it exists now uses the written word just as books do.  Digital media is no more threatening to the written word than books were when they replaced scrolls.

    Ok, enough sharing for now.  My mood is improved and you are all edified.  That is sufficient for today.

    Later

    Bob
  • Forecast: Colder

    I am tired.  I am worn out.  Things are not going well at home.  Things are going well at work, but it is hard to keep up.  Every time i finish something, there are two more chores to take its place.  Keeping up at work is like trying to slay a hydra, but i don't get a torch.

    I am taking a break.  Until further notice i am no longer fighting the good fight.  I will no longer be trying to make the world a better place.  I will not be solving anyone else's problems or offering sage advice. (This will not apply to those of you who are paying me to solve your problems, after all i remain a professional.)

    I am going to take care of myself and the rest of you can fend for yourselves. In fact, i would recommend caution in my presence as many of you do not remember what i was like in my more selfish past.  Don't forget that i am good at my job because the suffering of others does not bother me.  The kind and gentle bit requires more effort than i wish to expend at present.  Expect cold and harsh.

    This does not mean that i will be unhelpful.  Just expect a quid pro quo arrangement rather than charitable treatment.  If you have nothing to trade, you'll get nothing from me. 

    When things are better, i'll return to a sunnier disposition.  Well probably not sunny, let's be real here, but i'll return to a nobler demeanor.  I like myself a lot better that way.

    Later

    Bob


  • Watch out for Black Sunshine

    I have a new summer mix disc for my convertible.  It is a very eclectic collection of songs.  But i have noted one problem, listening to Black Sunshine causes me to speed.  It requires an conscious effort of will to stay under 90 by the time Iggy Pop is done with the spoken word intro.  If i get a ticket this summer in the T-Bird, i predict Rob Zombie will be the culprit

    Later

    Bob
  • Maybe you can go back again...

    Yesterday i found myself in Bloomington.  I had to go down to go to court.  Being good at my job, things went smoothly and quickly leaving ample time to do a little sight seeing.  The following are a few of the observations that i made and the thoughts that accompanied those observations.

    The area between College and Walnut streets is now some kind of retaining pond.  The grocery store is still where it was, though it is now a Save-a-Lot.  The theater were i saw Toys is gone, as is the arcade next door; but they were gone last time i was there.  This set of observations left me a little sad.  It is always unfortunate when a place that you had fond memories of has to change, or disappear altogether, even in the name of progress.  And i really liked Toys

    The Pizza Forum has stupid hours in the Summer.  I don't care if all of the students are gone in the summer, i wanted pizza at 4:00 p.m. and couldn't have it.  Pizza Forum sucks.

    Johnny Rockits is closed at 4:00.  See above paragraph.

    The building where Sera Tech was located found a way to become even seedier.  It is hard to be lower class than a trafficker in human fluids, but they found a way.  The building was a Barak Obama headquaters.  Barak sucks and wants mice to run over your head if he becomes President.

    Bloomington is very, very pretty in the summer.  Being a poor boy in college, i went home in the summer to work rather than enjoying the life of leisure afforded summer students.  Ok, i might have wanted to hang out with Rick and Jason in the summer.  But i was poor, and i did work in the summer.

    The Waffle House in Bloomington appears to not be affiliated with the Waffle House chain of restaurants.  I remain uncertain whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.  But if you go, get the Tex-Mex eggs combo; it is the best food to dollar value on the menu.

    The water in Bloomington is still foul.  I would have been unhappy with my fountain Diet Coke in any event because it was not Diet Pepsi, but the undertaste of river water did nothing to add to the taste.  Even the ice cubes were bad, not that it stopped me from eating 15% of my body weight in ice cubes. (I exaggerate, i probably only ate six-tenths of a pound of ice cubes.  That is 9.6 ounces for those of you who can't do math or are too pretty to do it yourself. )

    The dent is still in the steel door at my old apartment at 341 Varsity Lane.  The door is a shiney new brick red, but the dent caused by the riot baton remains.  I must confess that seeing the dent in the door filled me with a warm glowing, warming glow.  It was great to see that some things do not change and that seventeen years later that dent is still there.  For those of you that do not know the story behind the dent, it is a good one that i will recount to you in person should such a request be made of me by a person worthy of hearing the tale.

    I return to Bloomington on August 12, 2008.  At this point i have nothing else that day and can spend the entire day in Bloomington revisiting old haunts.  So many of the places i cherished are gone, but maybe some of them remain.  I'd like to know.  And if i can get a Bianca pizza, that would be awesome.

    Later

    Bob

This one is for Stehven

This is written in Chrome on Erin's new laptop. I'll fix the formatting later. (12/14 10:59 A.M. formatting fixed)

This post is for Steve because i'd hate disappoint.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED (NOT)

It was never my goal to see you quit Magic. If you wanted to say that i had any goal in mind for you it'd have to be that i wanted to see you learn to have a little self esteem and make something of yourself.

You were making good progress down that path. You are buying a place, even if it has wheels and attracts UFO's. You have a good job that you have kept longer than anyone at TFW other than myself and a former member that would rather that i not mention that he ever played Magic as that would be uncool. I still think you ought to go back to school as i have previously mentioned.This is the second post i have written for you. That puts you ahead of most of the people i know. I'd be disappointed if i did not see you again.

So, my loyal non-Steve readers, why am i posting this you might be asking. Simple, i figure i owe Steve seeing how he started my fan club. I've had a lot of fans over the years, Greg, the guy at IU who invented my religion, (yes, i have my own religion, no i had no part in coming up with it and you wonder why i have a god complex) Red, the Auburn players, Sliver Guy, you get the point; but only one person bothered to make a web site and print T-shirts. And i figure someone that can do that deserves to get his wish.

There i wrote what Steve wanted. Now i ought to get what i want which would be for him to return to FNM periodically. Of course i find Steve annoying from time to time, but then i find every single person at Top Shelf to be annoying from time to time, including Sam and Chris. (The exceptions are Aaron and, as always, Erin.)

So anytime you want to borrow a deck, i'll have one waiting. This offer good only for complete decks and not for single cards as single cards are a giant pain in the ass to keep track of.

Later

Bob

Monday, December 8, 2008

Ô Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,

Quick name Canada's greatest export.
















Ok what was your answer?












Did you save Avril Lavigne? You get partial credit. But i've covered her previously.










Did you say William Shatner? Full credit, but not the answer we were looking for.












Did you say Curling? No credit. None.











The answer we were looking for is Corner Gas.

I've gone on at length concerning this fine Canadian comedy so i'll not repeat myself again. But i will let you know that new episodes of Corner Gas are running on CTV for our timid neighbors to the North. This is the last season of Corner Gas. If you are looking to get your own Corner Gas bowling shirt, i'd act soon. Who knows what prices those things will reach on the secondary market. Corner Gas merchandise would make an excellent Boxing Day present. (That is if you associate with members of a lower social class.)

Watch Corner Gas.

Later

Bob

Sunday, December 7, 2008

My Favorite Cover Songs

I haven't been writing much lately. As i have said before i have been very busy working on setting up my new office. Normal workload + new workload = less time and more stress. Stress is as bad for your muse as it is for your blood pressure and heart.

When you can't think of anything new you return to old topics and see if there is anything fresh there that you can work with. Of the topics i covered in the past one of my most popular posts was My Ten Favorite Songs so i thought i'd try a variation on that theme.
And without further adieu: My Favorite Cover Songs

A cover song doesn't need to be better than the original to make this list. To make this list a cover song needs to bring something new or strike a different note that resonates in a way the original did not. The point here is that these are cover songs that i like regardless of their actual merit.

Love Song covered by 311
This song makes the list merely because i like the original by the Cure so much. This could be my favorite song ever so even an inferior version is still good. This version has a light Caribbean feel to me but the reason i like it is that while i love the original the 311 version does not make me sad. I still feel pangs of lost love when i hear the Cure's Love Song, but have no such problem with the 311 cover.

Enjoy the Silence by Lacuna Coil
Again we have another remake that makes the list based on the strength of the original. Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode is another of the songs that invokes powerful feelings of the past in me for the same reasons Love Song does. Depeche Mode was introduced to me by Jenny so my feelings about the band are intertwined with my feelings about the girl.
The Lacuna Coil cover has more of a heavy and modern feel. When i hear it i still feel how strong the song is but it doesn't feel trapped in the past; or maybe it is just me that feels trapped sometimes.

Every Little Thing He Does is Magic by Shawn Colvin
There are not a lot of good memories i have of working third shift at Scotts in college, but this song is one of them. Scotts was unwilling to pay the royalties associated with popular songs by popular acts so they frequently had cover songs. This was the best of them.
Shawn Colvin's cover of this Police song puts an acoustic twist on the original. Combined with the sweetness of Ms. Colvins voice this song was often the highlight of my miserable third shift life.

Ring of Fire by Social Distortion
I am not much of a punk fan but occasionally there is a song i like put out by a punk band, not that they care if i like it or not, not that they care if you like it or not, not that they care that anyone likes it at all for that matter.
The funny thing about this song is that for years i loved the original Johnny Cash version, complete with its mariachi horns. But it turns out that Johnny's version is a cover of Anita Carter, Johnny's sister in law. June had written for her sister who released it to little acclaim. Mr. Cash would later go on to great success with this ditty and eventually Social Distortion would cover it. The Social Distortion version lacks the mariachi horns.

Hurt by Johnny Cash
Johnny Cash is likely the only artist to appear twice on this list which is a little odd given that i generally dislike country music. Johnny Cash transcends country music and this song transcends its Nine Inch Nails source. I like Trent Reznor and no one does Nine inch Nails better than Trent, but Johnny Cash does this song better. Mr. Cash conveys an honesty and earnestness that the original lacks. Johnny Cash's version makes me hurt.

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) by Nancy Sinatra
Sonny Bono wrote this song for Cher. She released it in 1966. In 1967 Nancy Sinatra would release her cover. There is a reason Quinten Tarentino chose the Nancy Sinatra version over Cher's. (And it is not because Cher is a bitch.) Nancy's version is a classic and Cher's will win you a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm
This is the song that inspired this post. As i was watching American Pie 2 tonight i heard this song. I really like this song, but i love the video. Alien Ant Farm manages to send up Michael Jackson's video excesses in a way that is not derogatory or mocking of the source.
Michael's version is a classic, if you doubt it watch Moonwalker again. Alien Ant Farm's version is a fine tribute to a great song and a formerly great artist.

Putting on the Ritz by Shiny Toy Guns
This song is a cover of a cover, near as i can tell. STG is covering the Taco cover of the Irving Berlin originally written and recorded in 1929.
As good as this version is, you have not heard it until it is being sung to you in an attempt to seduce you. That puts a completely different spin on the song and that is the reason it was selected for this list over STG's cover of Stripped by Depeche Mode even though i do so much prefer Carah's songs to Chad's.

Well, nine hundred and fifty words and nine cover songs ought to be enough for now.

Later

Bob

Object Lessons

or

You can beat Sam but you cannot humiliate him.

As promised, here is my story:

Sam was back. Filled with his typical arrogance Sam swaggered into Top Shelf on Friday. His arrogance is well founded and has been rightfully earned. But from time to time i feel the need to impart a lesson unto Sam, and Friday's lesson was in humility.

Sam announced there was no chance i could beat him and although i'd give him the win as it means much more to him than to me, so i decided that it would be good to wipe the smugness from his visage. In this effort i succeeded. Unfortunately in the process i went on quite the ego trip myself and it was my time to fall.

As well you know FNM is played in a best of three format. Game one Sam was soundly defeated and the trash talking began. Oh, to repeat the exquisite choice of words, inflection, and condescension but such writing would require grater talent than i possess. I was in rare form and for one was not there, my meager capacity to describe it could never convey the grandeur of the moment. (This is just of fancy way of saying that you had to be there.)

Game two was another story. Here the Gods noticed that i had been made proud, that is never good. Needless to say as any good epic requires dramatic tension, i was overcome in game two so that game three could unfold and the story reach both its climax and conclusion.

In Game three i had Sam soundly defeated very early in the game. In that exact moment we both recognized was was occurring and that i had won. But consumed with pride myself, winning was not good enough. I went for the humiliation of my opponent rather than his simple defeat. This was a grave error. I had failed in every way possible in that moment, but i could not see it. I was consumed with visions of Glory and the adulation that would fallow when the master once again thrashed his unruly disciple and restored order to the dojo.

I had forgotten that this student had long ago snatched the pebble from my grasp and his reach exceeded my own. Filled with hubris, i had forgotten what we were there for. We were there simply to play a game between two friends. One friend need not and should not attempt to humble the other. Friends should rejoice in one another's accomplishments and relish them. Sam needed no more that a brief word in private and by attempting to humiliate him before others i was made humble myself.

Despite the very poor odds of success for Sam with my chosen strategy, he overcame those odds and reminded me once again that i am no longer the protagonist in that story, it is he. I am Odysseus to his Aeneas. (Think Gemmell, not Homer.) I was destroyed. Sam proved that he was the better man.

Had i simply sought victory in the game and not over the man, i would have won. I let pride blind me. It is not common for me to be wrong, but i always try to admit when i am. Here i was wrong. I should have remembered that although i am often the instructor to others now, there is still much i need to learn.

Having been chastened by the Gods i will go forth as a more humble man. Not humble exactly as this is still beyond me, but more humble.

Good Game Sam, and thanks for the lesson.

Later

Bob

The Value of Twenty Bucks

Back in the early 2000s, when Limewire was state of the art and piracy was rampant, Hugeuenard said something that stuck with me: You have...