Humanity rejoice, i mean you no harm.

Those who know me best know that for sometime i have advocated the complete eradication of the human race. This is no longer the case and i repudiate my former self.

Such thinking was short-sighted and calamitous. Without people there would be no one to care for house cats. Surely this is humanity's purpose in the grand scheme of things.

Still, something needs to be done to save the tigers.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work.

On Tuesday we indulged our third favorite National pastime, voting. For those keeping score, numbers one and two are Football and NASCAR respectively. This time the people got it wrong. I'd say that they'll pay for it later; but as one of the paying half of the country, i'm the one that'll end up footing the bill. Those that don't pay taxes should celebrate, i am sure nancy pelosi and chuckie rangle will come up with some plan so that we can create more freeloaders.

Oh well, looking to the east i see the glimmerings of a sunrise named Newt. I look forward to '08. Let the bloodbath begin.

Bob

Dance. Magic Dance!

Occasionally i like to think back to the things that made me happy when i was younger. Today i am feeling nostalgic about some movies that i saw back then and like to dust off and watch from time to time today.

I am not going to talk about The Princess Bride. Everyone loves this movie, myself included, and it needs no promotion. If you haven't seen it, you should. Today i am going to talk about a couple of other fantasy gems, Labyrith and Legend.

Labyrinth makes me smile just to think about. It has everything, fantastic sets, muppets, Goblin King David Bowie, and Jennifer Connelly as a tantalizing jailbait lead. Of course i feel like i am going to go to Hell every time i watch it now; but Jennifer is the same age as me, so cut me some slack when those old teenage crushes come back to haunt me. It is an absolute classic and if you don't like Magic Dance, God help you. David Bowie contact juggleing crystal spheres is just as cool today as it was when i was a kid, even though i now know Michael Moschen really did the juggling.

Legend is far and away my favorite Tom Cruise movie. It is good enough that i even forget what a short, sneaky, crazy, anti-scientific, scientologist freak he is and just enjoy the movie. Mia Sara is just gorgeous once she embraces her dark side, hotter than Sloane Peterson could ever hope to be. Tim Curry as the Juzam Djinn, er, Lord of Darkness is pure malevolent fun. After all, the only thing that could possibly be more evil than killing off all the world's unicorns is killing off all the world's kittens. Any movie that could seriously address the topic off killing off all the world's kittens could never be suitable for children.

Ahhh. I feel a warm-glowing, warming glow just talking about these movies. Thanks Riki Hayashi for reminding me how much i love these films. You should really watch these movies.

Later

Bob

One Night with the King

Yesterday i went to see One Night with the King. It is an excellent move. The critics at rotten tomatoes disagree, but then most critics are liberal jackasses that voted for Al Gore and thus cannot be trusted.

One Night with the King is a re-telling of the Biblical story of Ester. Although some liberties are taken with the story for dramatic purposes, the story is basically faithful to its Biblical roots. The movie looks fantastic with its beautiful sets and period wardrobe.

I liked this movie. I liked it a lot. I think you should go see this movie. And when you go see this movie think about how much fun it would have been if they could have cast Mel Gibson as Haman.

Later

Bob

David Gemmell is dead, and i learned it on Ebay

You know there is something wrong when your favorite author dies and you learn about it on Ebay. David Gemmell is my favorite author. He died on July, 28, 2006 of coronary artery disease. Gemmell was a smoker and it killed him. Smoking killed my favorite author. I hate smoking. I hate it even more now.

What really upsets me is that i did not learn of his death until today. What the hell is Amazon for if they cannot even tell me that my favorite author is dead. I have purchased over two dozen Gemmell books on Amazon and it can't even be bothered to tell me that he died. None of my news sites picked up the story. I had to learn it on Ebay while checking auctions. I then went to Wikipedia for confirmation.

It doesn't matter how i learned it now. My knowledge would have changed nothing. But if i have to live in a wold that lets me know Jessica Simpson was dumped by her latest boyfriend within 24 hours; then damn it, i want to know about something that actually matters in less than two months.

So first i called Bex and told him. Tomorrow i will tell Stephanie. Right now i am telling you.

I know people read this. Usually i don't care what any of you think. This time is different. If any of you actually care that David Gemmell is gone, please, let me know.



Goodbye Mr. Gemmell, You will be missed.

Bob

Poe

Poe is back in the studios working hard for each and every one of her fans. Those of you who know me know that i am a fan, though i am not a member of any of her fan sites. I recommend that you pick up Poe next time you find yourself wanting some new music. By pick up i mean buy, not download. Poe deserves the royalties that come from album sales. For your convenience i have included links to Hello and Haunted.

Cinnamon

Variety is not the spice of life, cinnamon is. Few things in life are better than cinnamon. In fact, just about the only thing i can think of that is better is having a pretty girl smile at you. Both produce a very pleasant warm feeling. I don’t get enough of that; consequently, i eat a lot of cinnamon.

Later

Bob

See you this spring, Ari

For those of you who do not know, i am a fan of Entourage. Marky Mark has done a great service to mankind by bringing this show into being. I like following the trials and tribulations of Vince and the gang. But once again HBO has gone and pissed me off. What is the deal with the huge lag between episode 12 and 13. I understand that sometimes there need to be cliffhangers, but this displeasing to me. Oh well, things could be worse, i could have been a Sopranos fan.

Later

Bob

Ok, i caved

So i finally caved. I am no longer a techno have-not. I will soon have cable internet. I hate the cable company. More than you do. I hate it down in the darkest depths of my soul. I don't want to give it any more money, but, like the Devil, sometimes Mediacom makes you an offer too good to refuse.

So in 5-7 days i will get my modem and self-install kit. Then my soul will belong to Mediacom. Hopefully it will be worth it.

See you then

Bob

GenCon is upon us

Once again, GenCon is upon is. Starting tomorrow thousands upon thousands of nerds, geeks, and dorks will begin descending upon Indianapolis for four days of gaming. For those of you who don't know what GenCon is, think of every game you would never expect to see on ESPN, not even ESPN8, the Ocho. Those are the games that will be at GenCon. Bex and I will be there for all four days. Hopefully we can still get reservations for P. F. Chang's after 9:30, when the best chef gets there.

We will primarily hang out in the dealer room. Board games, card games, role-playing games and even boot-leg videos of every description will be in the dealer room. It takes about two days to go through everything and figure out just who will be getting my hard earned cash in exchange for their wares. I an not sure what i need this year. Suggestions are welcome.

The best part every year is looking down on the line of suckers who arrive on Saturday to get badges. Last time we were there, we looked down, laughed at them, and decided to watch a movie; Fast and the Furious, i think. When we were done watching the movie, the line had not discernibly moved, but those poor fools did get to enjoy the camaraderie that can only be know by gamers in 90 degree heat. I almost regret that i will never know such camaraderie, no wait, i don't regret it at all.

Anyway see you all at GenCon.

Diet Pepsi Lime--distilled Joy

Who am i to ignore the demands of my number one fan and potential crazed stalker? So without further ado, i present something clever about Diet Pepsi Lime.

Diet Pepsi Lime harkens back to days of olde. Those of you old enough to have voted for the first President Bush may remember Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi had a distinct citrusy flavor which added something extra to the basic Pepsi taste. It was a great beverage, but alas the mindless hordes could not be persuaded to purchase a clear cola and it languished on the shelves.

With the introduction of Diet Pepsi Lime those enlightened few who enjoyed a bit of citrus with their cola once again have that option. To allay the fears of those who can not face the prospect of a non-umber cola Pepsi has left it a traditional red-brown. Diet Pepsi Lime has a subtle complexity that regular Pepsi lacks. Diet Pepsi Lime is in short, distilled Joy.

One last thought, one can confidently buy Diet Pepsi Lime and know they are doing the right thing for their Nation. In the last election cycle PepsiCo, Inc. contributed 68% of their political donations to Republicans. Although there is room for improvement, 68% is a fine ratio and one of which Americans can be proud.

Buy Diet Pepsi Lime.

Later

Bob

post script~ Atrocity Archives is H.P. Lovecraft done with better science, read it.

Work sucks, but John Wayne rules

For the two of you who read this, i apologize for not writing anything for a while. I have been very busy at work and it has cut into the time i have had to do anything worth writing about. I truly look forward to the new guy starting so that things will slow down a bit.

I did find some time to pick up some John Wayne movies. The first one i watched was The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. I have been wanting to see this movie for a while; it was worth the wait. John Wayne is excellent. For those of you who have never heard of this movie, click on this link and read Mr. Berardinelli's review, then go get this movie.

When things slow down i promise i'll write something clever again; maybe something singing the praises of Diet Pepsi Lime.

Wiki's are good

Anyone who knows me, really knows me, will tell you that i am not a populist. Generally i take a dim view of the intellectual laziness of my fellow man. The wiki movement is a form of populism that i fully embrace. The wikipedia and wikis in general are useful ways for those interested in subjects to convey knowledge and info on to the rest of us. Thanks to these wikis i am able to have access to the knowledge of the productive few. At the moment i am enjoying the wikihow. Some of the guides are dumb and poorly thought through, such as "How to spread propaganda" but most are interesting. I think the wikihow serves as an excellent resource for parents to engage in fun, educational activities with their kids. Whether you want to color carnations or remove the egg shell from an egg with vinigar there is something there worth trying.

Emily's Reasons Why Not

Thanks to the magic of the internet, i have finally seen Emily's Reasons Why Not. Having seen this show, i now understand why it was cancelled after just one airing. That is too bad because i had looked forward to watching it. Heather Graham is a very talented comedic actress, and i enjoyed her tremendously as Molly Clock on Scrubs. The flaws with the show are many, but in keeping with the spirit of the show i will provide a list of five reasons not to watch: 1. Bad writing. 2. One-dimentional characters. 3. Tasteless humor. 4. I like Heather Graham a lot, no more than that, A Lot, but i would have felt bad about myself for tuning in again. And i would have. I like Heather Graham a lot. 5. Heather Graham deserves a good TV show of her own. This show was not it.

Tom Cruise Sucks

Tom Cruise sucks. He is sneaky. If you did not know this, he is short, very short. He attempts to hide this through various forms of subterfuge. For Top Gun he stood on a box to kiss Kelly Mcgillis. Of course they did not show the box. I don't trust short, sneaky people. Tom Cruise is also crazy. He thinks Scientology is good and psychology is bad. Psychology is filled with flaws--most of the 'soft sciences' are. But few soft sciences try to get people to believe that life's problems are caused by aliens from 75 million years ago. If you believe your problems are caused by the spirits of aliens from 75 million years ago I'd try to sell you some land in New Orleans, but you wouldn't have any money to buy it with after Tom and his cronies were done with you. Tom, stick to bad acting and lay off the bad science.

Oh yeah, don't see MI3. Don't listen to people who say, "oh it can't be that bad." It can, it is.

Facing the Inevitable

Ok, it is only a matter of time before the zombie apocalypse. Will you be a survivor or a shambler? Thanks to Max Brooks and Amazon.com, I plan to be a survivor. If you have not yet become acquainted with Mr. Brooks' work there is still time. And remember, "Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair."
Now I have to go run, endurance training is key.

Later

Bob

Jackie Blu or no?

Jackie Blue wants to be my friend.  Do I cave to the peer pressure of 12665 fans or resist being used as a shill.  If I add Jackie Blue Tom would not look so loney on my list, not that Tom is ever lonely.  Blue is inherently superior than...  But on the other hand Jackie is just using me.  Dilemma.

Friendship

I like Tom, he is my only friend.  The rest of you suck.