Sometimes The Wall Does Not Win

You know the feeling you get when you are banging your head against the wall?  You know the wall isn't going to surrender, walls don't just come tumbling down.  Walls are silent and immovable.  If they were not silent you might have hope for success.  Their words might betray weakness or at least reveal alternatives so walls remain silent.  They are immovable.  If they moved you might gain or lose ground.  If you gain ground your goal will be close, and if you lose enough ground you will give up as you goal becomes unreachable.

Enough imagery.  The particular wall I have been banging my head against is Diet Pepsi Lime and its unavailability in my area.  Now that there are so few of you reading this, you all know that this is my preferred beverage.  Even venerable Eggnog is not placed above Diet Pepsi Lime on the dais.  But since 2012 I have not been able to acquire Diet Pepsi Lime.  With the creation of Pepsi Next, the bottler in Michigan stopped producing it.

So, when your favorite liquid refreshment becomes unavailable what do you do?  You start looking.  At first I tried emailing Pepsico.  What I learned is that they suck.

Below is what I sent to Pepsico:

Please tell me where I can purchase Diet Pepsi Lime.  Please do not tell me that different bottlers carry different products in different areas.  Please tell me where Diet Pepsi Lime is being sold so that I may go there am purchase it wherever that may be.

Thank You

Bob

And here is the reply of Pepsico:

Dear Bob,

Thank you for contacting us at Pepsi-Cola regarding the availability of Diet Pepsi Lime. Please know that while we have not discontinued this product nationwide, we do understand that some of our distributors have decided to no longer offer this product in some markets.

To locate stores in your area that may sell this product, please log on to www.pepsicobeveragefacts.com/home/storelocator. Simply select the product you're trying to find, enter your zip code, and you'll see a list of the stores closest to you that have sold the product in the last 30 days. This information is generated by stores that use computer scanning equipment in their check-out process.

Now, it's possible that the local Pepsi bottler in your area may not carry all of the products or package sizes we offer. Pepsi-Cola operates under a franchise bottler system and, unfortunately, not all products are offered in all areas. To support this system, our products are only available for sale through retail outlets, and internet ordering or direct delivery to consumers' homes is not currently available. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

I hope you find this information helpful. Thanks again for contacting us.

Kind regards,

Dee Dee
Consumer Relations Representative


Dee Dee you can suck my nuts.  That is the least helpful advise I have received in my life.  It is exactly what I asked not to receive as a reply.  and why not?  Because in 2013 I tried contacting Pepsico.  Here is the 2013 reply:

Dear Robert,

Thank you for contacting us at Pepsi-Cola regarding the availability of Diet Pepsi Lime.

I am so sincerely sorry that you are not able to find this product in your area. It is possible that the local Pepsi bottler in your area may not carry all of the products or package sizes we offer. Pepsi-Cola operates under a franchise bottler system and, unfortunately, not all products are offered in all areas. To support this system, our products are only available for sale through retail outlets, and internet ordering or direct delivery to consumers' homes is not currently available. I truly apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Unfortunately, because we have so many company owned and franchised owned bottlers and availability changes so frequently, we do not have a list of the products that each bottler produces / distributes. I am sincerely sorry about that. I thought our Store Locator listed below might be helpful. It will allow you to see what products are available in the different zip codes that you might visit. If you see the product available, I would highly suggest that you call the store before taking a long trip to make sure they still have it in stock.

To locate stores in your area that sell our products, please log on to www.pepsicobeveragefacts.com/storelocator. Simply select the product you're trying to find, enter your zip code, and you'll see a list of the stores closest to you that have sold the product in the last 30 days. This information is generated by stores that use computer scanning equipment in their check-out process.

I hope you find this information helpful. If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Thanks again for contacting us. Have the best weekend!

Sincerely,

__________________________________

I added the blank line because the actual email had no name.  So Dee Dee gets props for at least giving me a name to curse as I pray to Odin, Crom, Keranos, Zues, Jehova, and any other deity I invoke hoping to be granted the power to smite mortals.  Dee Dee obviously has faith that my prayers will go unanswered.  I will keep praying and we shall see, but now it is time to return to the topic of this post.

In any event, about once a moth I do a general internet search to look for Diet Pepsi Lime.  Tonight the wall fell!  Fuck you wall.  About damn time.

There have been tantalizing cracks.  Walmart has Diet Pepsi Lime in its database and the image has new packaging.






Additionally tonight I found a Youtube post dated September 28, 2013.  The kid is a tard, he does not like Diet Pepsi Lime.  But he gave me hope.




I found a Foodtown in New Jersey and a Shoprite in Connecticut that allegedly had Diet Pepsi Lime.


But the real breakthrough came when I randomly stumbled onto this Pepsi Bottler in Nebaska.  A quick Walmart search confirmed Diet Pepsi Lime could be found in Nebraska.  Even better, Samy's saint of a Mother is in Nebraska.

It is possible that very soon I will consume the can of Diet Pepsi Lime in my refrigerator.  I had planned to leave it there as a tribute to one more thing I loved that was taken from me because the gods are cruel and hateful. (Except Odin, Crom, Keranos, Zues, Jehova, and any other deity I invoke hoping to be granted the power to smite mortals).  But now there is hope, not the false hope of obama, but real hope for a better tomorrow.  A tomorrow where although I am unemployed, my food stamps can be used to buy Diet Pepsi Lime.

The future is fraught with peril.  No job, losing my beloved office and business partner, possibly having to move out of my home.  But I can now face that future knowing that as each of these challenges is overcome, I might enjoy a victory sip of my favorite elixer.  So once again, fuck you wall, and fuck all you who doubted.  All victory is sweet, but this one is zero calories, sweetened with aspartame.



Later

Bob