-- John Dorian
You came here expecting some wholesome Vanilla Ice. But ninjas are sneaky bastards that always attack from unexpected places. This post is not about Rob Van Winkle. Like a sneaky ninja i am about to violate all that is honorable and perpetrate wounds on your psyche that might never heal.
Sam, leave now.
You have been warned.
The rest of you should go with Sam.
If i could i would stay my hand. It was never my intent to use this blog as a weapon or to hurt anyone. I believe in rainbows and puppies and all that, but the choice isn't mine. No, as much as i love all of you, i love Erin more. She is making me do this You should go before you get hurt.
Seriously leave.
I mean it.
Some things cannot be unlearned.
You are not leaving.
I tried to warn you, but you just wouldn't leave.
What happens next is not my fault.
Today's Song: Enter the Ninja by Die Antwood.
I have posted links in my last couple postings. I won't be doing that here. You were warned. You did not heed my dire counsel because you are still here. I will not endure your criticism for your own free choices later.
Like a sneaky butthole ninja Die Antwood tricks you at the start of this video. You start out with a girl (Yo-Landi Vi$$er) that is a little creepy but mostly cute singing a about butterflies. This should have been a clue of the horrors that would follow, i mean, have you ever looked at the face of a butterfly. It is like some kind of alien monster.
Scene: Enter the Ninja
Yes this guy actually calls himself "Ninja." I could not make this up. Well i could but i am not this time. Skinny and ugly with bad tattoos, we meet Ninja. Giving this devil his due, the guy can speed rap. Yo-Landi keeps asking for a Samurai, a noble bound by the code of Bushido but what she gets is a ninja, a dishonorable killer for hire who specializes in bushwacking.
If Ninja is not enough to give you nightmares just wait. Remember that i mentioned alien monsters? In quick rapid cuts that will be the stuff of nightmares you meet Leon Botha. That is one seriously creepy dude. Freddy Kruger was not this creepy. This guy is Bob-walking-over-the-couch level creepy. Wikipedia tells us he is, "a prominent Cape Town artist who is one of the world's oldest survivors of progeria." But i maintain he is a homunculus crafted from the distilled essence of bad dreams.
The gibberish Ninja is spewing is actually Zef. The white trash in South Africa actually have their own language and Ninja is apparently their de facto poet laureate. I abhor the white trash here in the Good Ol' U S of A-- foreign white trash is worse. I guess obama and his East Coast allies are right, the rest of the world is better than America at certain things. Good job Suid-Afrika you got us good this time.
I will be forever scarred by Die Antwood. Erin woke up nearly every day for a month and played this video first thing in the morning. Thea still runs and hides under the bed when she hears Erin's computer boot up.
I have learned that not all ninjas are cool, no matter what my inner eight year-old tries to tell me.
Later
Bob
I didn't want to do this, but Erin is holding a Katana to my throat. Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc3f4xU_FfQ
You were warned.
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